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Girls S2E10 – I Can’t Be the Only Thing You Like

19 Mar

First, I must say it’s been a pleasure watching this season with all of you. Your comments, personal e-mails sent to me about episodes or characters and interaction with me via this blog have been really rewarding and I often feel that half the reason I love to watch Girls is because I love to talk about it. Last night after finishing the finale I felt a whole mix of emotions – frustrated, a little angry, a little happy, and ultimately hopeful for next season.

Everyone is a MESS!

Everyone is a MESS!

I was initially pretty pissed that everything turned out just fine for everyone (relatively speaking) even though it felt really unearned (esp. the Marnie sitch — yikes) but I think we need to look at this finale as a pause in action — not the end of a romantic comedy (despite the last ten minutes). We’re going to see next season what happens when everyone gets what they think they want — and I suspect it won’t be happily ever after for long.

I was able to talk out my feelings with a friend via an hour long g-chat about the episode where she pointed out that Girls must be doing something right because we just spent double the time of the episode talking about it. Truth. So let’s get to talking. I’m less angry than I was last night, but still feeling like this season could have gone in a different and more satisfying direction. So to the recap.


Hannah is still in a downward spiral she can’t pull herself out of. I could talk about how annoyed I am that the OCD we never really heard about before three episodes ago has factored in so heavily in the end arc of Hannah’s story this season, but I will refrain. It’s almost like it’s a weird device being used to make us feel sympathy for Hannah when I really don’t want to feel bad for her. And then I feel bad for her a little and kind of hate myself for it.

Get serious about life Hannah!

Get serious about life Hannah!

Hannah’s in the same shirt we saw her in last episode and her hair is so greasy it looks like she combed a pork chop through it. She’s a mess and dodging doing her work and hiding from the world. Part of this definitely can be attributed to her fragile mental state, but part of it is that Hannah is the worst and is using her illness as a crutch to avoid her responsibilities. She gets an angry call from her editor (whom I love just for looking at/narrating pics of Chloe Sevigny while waiting for Hannah to pick up) basically demanding pages or else she’ll be sued and she flies into panic.

Here’s the thing. The editor is right. He paid Hannah for her pages and she needs to start producing them – because that is what writing for a living is. This guy trusted Hannah and she is jerking him around. The threat of being sued naturally freaks Hannah out so she calls her dad and asks him to loan her money to pay back her advance so she can be “free in her creative process”. Bleh.

Love him.

Love him.

And in the best move ever – her dad calls her out and says he babied her too much as a kid and let her skip school to dodge out of things and has made excuses for her for too long. He tells her she needs to stop doing this and live up to her responsibilities, he isn’t bailing her out and he won’t be manipulated by her again. Nicely done dad. You’re doing the right thing. Cut the cord dude, Hannah needs to fail without rescue in order to get her ass in gear.

Later in the episode Marnie comes to check on Hannah at the apartment since she hasn’t been returning her texts (I guess it’s a good sign that they are still sort of in touch). Hannah runs and hides when she hears Marnie’s voice. Marnie comes in and yells around the apartment looking for Hannah, knowing that she is there. She tells her she is worried as she looks around the clearly messy and disgusting apartment. She refuses to look for Hannah under the bed and then she sees what I thought would cause her to stay and really talk with Hannah – she sees that Hannah is planning to write about them. “A friendship between college girls is grander and more dramatic than any romance.” This friendship break-up has been rough on both of them and instead of staying to talk – Marnie takes a candelabra and books it out of there. Yikes.

Hot mess express. Ticket for one.

Hot mess express. Ticket for one.

Sorry for this tangent but….

I’ve been thinking that one reason why I really loved this show last season was because I loved the way the ensemble of characters bounced off each other and how the girls (while they could be shitty to each other as friends sometimes are) genuinely were there for each other and had affection for each other. It emphasized the importance of these friendships and relationships in their life and I remember the roomie break-up of Hannah and Marnie seeming worse than any romantic break because it meant so much more.

This season each girl has existed in her own vacuum of a story line. No one really hung out and they became increasingly isolated from each other instead choosing to get their “love” and support from the dudes in their lives. This has lead to them having really shitty years – Jessa and Thomas John was a disaster, Hannah’s myriad of lovers brought her no happiness or sanity, Shosh’s whole life started revolving around Ray and Marnie let her break-up with Charlie and relationship with Booth define her life. UGH. This made this season really hard to watch. See the video below for evidence

Watching these girls define themselves by the men in their lives was difficult though I know it’s something a lot of girls in their 20s go through. We all have had that friend who defines herself by who her slampiece is or who disappears when she gets a boyfriend – it’s not uncommon, but I guess I just wanted more from these four.

Okay, so back to Hannah. After Marnie leaves she decides to continue to eat Cool Whip, read magazines, and give herself a haircut instead of doing her work. She tries for a Carey Mulligan look and botches it completely which leads to her going to Laird’s apartment for help. Laird fixes her up so she looks slightly less terrible.

Looking very Girl, Interrupted here.

Looking very Girl, Interrupted here.

Hannah explains that she doesn’t want to clean up her own mess and how she just wishes there was someone there to help her. Laird is kind and tells her he cleans up his own messes too and it’s a difficult thing to do and it hurts sometimes. It’s a genuinely sweet scene until Hannah nearly passes out from not eating/anxiety and tells Laird to be gentle but she’s too weak to fight him off sexually. Presumptuous much Hannah Banana?

Laird’s exchange with Hannah is the best. He tells her he doesn’t like her like that anymore after seeing how she treats people and that her insides are rotten. He tells her she is the most presumptuous and self-absorbed person he has ever met and that he thinks the scene in her head must be pretty dark. Well done sir (or should I say Councilman Jamm from Parks and Rec).  And as Hannah apologizes for not seeing Laird as person before, I feel the mix of both loathing and empathy for Hannah all at once that is a real signature of this show. Great scene.

Laird - speaker of harsh truth!

Laird – speaker of harsh truth!

Hannah then returns to her apartment to call Jessa and freak out on her for bailing on her and basically says she has no friends and no one to talk to about the shit going on in her life (even though she has been burning bridges all season and shouldn’t be surprised). She calls Marnie an anorexic, Shosh becomes “fucking Shosh” and Adam is her “stalker ex-boyfriend”. Way harsh lady.

In the end she calls Adam (who is totally the season’s MVP) via Facetime and he comes to her rescue as he runs down the street and stays on the phone with her. Yes, it’s absurd and romantic and had I not been completely frustrated with Hannah at this moment then I would have loved it more when Adam beat down the door and came in to scoop her up. This was like a cliche rom-com happy ending that I couldn’t get on board with. Not because I don’t love Adam and think its perfectly plausible he’d ride the subway with no shirt, but because this romantic reunion sort of comes out of nowhere. For a moment – Hannah is “rescued”.

Adam is the best, but does Hannah deserve this?

Adam is the best, but does Hannah deserve this?

I guess I feel like I should have felt more here, but I didn’t. It was sweet and I love Adam but I also know that a real relationship between these two is going to be a lot more difficult than breaking down someone’s door and scooping them up. Hannah’s still going to get sued most likely, she still has OCD and a bad haircut, and she still will have problems with Adam. She is back to square one, but hopefully manned with a little more knowledge from her many mistakes this season. I’m interested to see where she goes next even if she is totally the wound of the season.

Shosh and Ray

First of all, that sex scene was so painful. Fellas you know there is trouble in paradise when your girl is wearing a hoodie during sex and essentially not into it at all and tells you she doesn’t want to finish. Yikes. Shosh brings up yet again that she wants Ray to have ambition and to want something because she can’t live like this.

Adorably, Ray goes to Grumpy’s to quit and get back on track finishing his PhD in Philosophy (of course!). Colin Quinn (Grumpy) tells him that his girlfriend doesn’t want a doctor of philosophy but rather someone who is going to be able to provide for her and buy her croissant shaped fancy purses. He is opening a new Grumpy’s in Brooklyn Heights and wants Ray to run the new store and build it from the ground up. He tells Ray he can make a good living out of it and that he can pursue his passions on the weekend. Ray takes the job but asks for a more impressive title for Shosh’s benefit and it’s all oddly sweet.

So Colin Quinn has been running Grumpy's since leaving SNL. Cool

So Colin Quinn has been running Grumpy’s since leaving SNL. Cool

Ray comes home with the good news but is met by a less than enthusiastic Shosh who begins to try to break up with him in what I would call the best acted scene of the night. Adam Driver might be the MVP of the season, but Zosia Mamet is a very close second. Her breakdown over how Ray doesn’t like anything she likes and the list of things he hates including the sound of children playing and going out to dinner (which Shosh LOVES) and ribbons is both heartbreaking and hilarious all at once.

She tells Ray she can’t grow into the person she is supposed to be with his black soul hanging over her, she needs experiences and positivity. Ray asks if there is someone else, some adult blonde male waiting in the wings. But Shosh says there isn’t and that maybe someday he’ll change and she’ll grow and she can love his black soul, but not now.

I can't be the only thing you like.

I can’t be the only thing you like.

With that ends the relationship between my two favorite weirdos – Shosh and Ray. Ray takes his Andy Kaufman cut-out and storms out and Shosh breaks down in tears in that amazing butterfly dress. Shosh did the right thing, no matter how much I love Ray. She was right and she told him what she wants. I look forward to seeing Shosh out in the world next year – figuring her shit out. You know she has more amazing things in that weirdo brain of hers than just thinking about/dating Ray.

Emmy nomination please and thank you.

Emmy nomination please and thank you.

Of course the end montage shows Shosh making out with an adult male blonde who looked like Rolf from Sound of Music, but that’s cool. Homegirl needs to be twenty-one and crazy and enjoy college and do fun shit. Get it Shosh. And Ray – I hope you find happiness and life direction and that you get therapy like Shosh suggested.

Marnie and Charlie

Easily the worst of the story lines and the one that chapped my asshole the most. Seriously — suddenly Marnie wants Charlie and thinks she is over everything she’s been going through? The answer is in being with Charlie. It seems pretty obvious to me that Marnie is still in her downward spiral by feeling like she has to cling to the one person who has and will always love her unconditionally. She even convinces herself she loves him and wants to have his little brown babies because it’s better than the alternative of having no job, no friends and no boyfriend.

Casual sex Marnie

Casual sex Marnie

So Marnie and Charlie are doing it. A lot. The scene were he is making a meal out of Marnie is actually pretty funny because she won’t shut up and needs to know when he got so good at this. I actually laughed out loud when she smacked his head and interrupted him to demand this knowledge. But then we’re at brunch with them and Marnie tells him she loves that they are both over their little misadventures and are finally back together like old fogeys. Charlie is like “What the fuck?” with his face and Marnie reads this reaction as they are just having casual sex and freaks out. This is not the rules according to Marnie, she expects Charlie’s love and adoration. She storms off and yells “Do you want to date me or not? Last chance”. UGH!

Charlie chases her down, she tells him she is coming off the worst year of her life and then that she loves him and all she wants is to wake up next to him and make him snacks and have his babies and watch him die. Then Charlie softens and tells her that he always have loved her and always will and that everything good he’s ever done was for her. You guys, I felt like I was in a bad Lifetime movie during this scene. I liked it better when Charlie was a little bitter and Marnie knew that Charlie’s brand of suffocating love wasn’t going to bring her happiness. I felt like these two were playing at being grown-ups in love and reading from a script.

Wait, we're dating?

Wait, we’re dating?

I was pretty pissed that Dunham got these two back together but we all know it’s because Marnie is floundering around so much (last week’s cover of Stronger proves this) that she clings to the only thing she can count on – Charlie’s smothering love for her. This makes me really loathe Marnie, which is hard to write since I was pulling for her all season. She is doing this and going through these motions because it was the life she had planned for herself — marry a good looking (and rich) guy who could support her and she’ll have his babies and live a good life.

You're welcome ladies. Fine as hell.

You’re welcome ladies. Fine as hell.

I know Marnie is more than that, or at least I hope she is and I hope she snaps out of this domestic fantasy. It’s hard to grow up and realize that your life might not go as you had thought or planned it would, but I hope Marnie realizes that this plan she had for herself isn’t going to make her happy before she ruins Charlie’s life more. I think the comment about the money offers a bit of foreshadowing and obviously indicates that Marnie doesn’t necessarily want Charlie but the idea of being taken care of so she doesn’t have to figure her shit out. Just like Hannah. Parallels y’all. Anyway, this storyline was absolutely my least favorite and I am over it already. The reunion speeches they gave each other had me rolling my eyes.


Adam, why would you leave a total fucking catch like Natalia for a total fucking mess like Hannah? I mean, I think I know why, but it makes me so sad because Natalia is balls out amazing. When they are having sex and she tells him she likes his cock, etc. and then he calls her a whore she becomes my hero when she tells him “Don’t say that. I can like your cock and not be a whore”.  PREACH. I love this broad. She calls Adam on his shit behavior and knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to say it.

We're gonna miss you girl!

We’re gonna miss you girl!

It’s nice to see a woman be assertive in the bedroom on this show in a positive way. Adam listens and then tries to go fast, but she tells him to go slower and isn’t afraid to speak up. Get it girl! But in the end we know this is killing Adam because he is kinkier and more violent than that in bed and this chick won’t give him what he wants sexually and will judge him. This is why I think he misses Hannah. She is more submissive, more understanding of his sexual needs, and more in need of rescue.

Adam - being the best.

Adam – being the best.

While I don’t think Hannah necessarily deserves his grand gesture at the end – I love Adam for recognizing that she really wasn’t well and needed someone and stayed on the phone with her because he was genuinely worried about her and has feelings for her. I died a little when he broke down the door and leapt over the couch before scooping up Hannah and holding her. I think I would have felt more if Hannah hadn’t been so horrible this season, but still — Adam Driver – I love you and think you are the cat’s pajamas. Let’s make out, I don’t even care that you have the face of an old timey criminal.

You've made me love you, I didn't wanna do it, I didn't wanna do it.

You’ve made me love you, I didn’t wanna do it, I didn’t wanna do it.

So ends the season in a montage of love – Hannah safely ensconced (for now) in Adam’s arms, Marnie and Charlie on a yuppie grown up date and looking happy, and Shosh tonguing Draco Malfoy at the bar. But as I said above I was mad at first that the show tied up all the plots in this perfect little bow (and it seemed really rushed that they did it within the span of the last ten minutes of the episode), but we all know that this isn’t over. Our girls are happy…for now. We know that tomorrow all of their problems, hang-ups and issues with both each other and their respective beaus haven’t and won’t go away until they put their lady balls on the table and really talk and grow up. Here’s to season 3.

Winner of the Episode – Shosh, Adam, Hannah’s dad and his freakishly ripped arms

Wounds of the Week – Marnie, Charlie, Hannah

Winner of the Season – Shosh

Wound of the Season – Hannah

Vote for your Wound of the Week

Thanks again for reading. Please follow continue following Brem and I as we take turns recapping Game of Thrones and I start recapping Mad Men once both shows return. Our readers are the best and we appreciate you.

Girls S2 E9 – Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

13 Mar

Good god, I can’t tell you the last time I physically cringed and squirmed so much during an episode of television. This episode had it all — an ear drum puncture from q-tip digging, a splinter in the ass, the most embarrassing party performance ever, an alcoholic falling off the wagon, super agressive and creepy sex (complete with cum shots – yikes), and some mortifying flirting. I actually had to look away from the screen more than once because I was dying for these characters. This is not to say that I thought this was a bad episode by any means, it was just a really uncomfortable one.


I was worried they were going to introduce this anxiety and OCD plot and then never really follow through with it after Hannah got medicine at the end of the last episode. Things are still not going well for Hannah in the mental health arena as we can see as she rides the elevator to her publisher meeting and is still displaying various tics.

To say her meeting does not go well is an understatement. Her editor asks her if her hymen grew back and also tells her he didn’t finish her pages not because he was too busy, but because he just didn’t like it and was bored. He tells Hannah to get her shit together and start writing about her sexual escapades – less Jane Austen more EL James. Sex with a teenager? You had him at barely legal. What a total creep. Hannah leaves feeling even more anxious than before and goes home to attempt to write the next great e-book sex novella.

Did your hymen grow back?

Did your hymen grow back?

Whilst at home she slides across the floor and gives herself a massive ass splinter. Not sure why we needed this scene – it seemed gratuitous and weird since the splinter was an accident and she handles it well by getting tweezers, and peroxide and disinfecting the wound post splinter and bandaging it up. I think there might be a Lena Dunham has to be naked in every episode clause in the show’s contract. But then the ass splinter leads Hannah to buying q-tips and she begins to clean her ears.

I just can't.

I just can’t.

It was like watching a horror story – seeing Hannah plunge the q-tip further and harder into her ear. I looked away, I yelled at her to stop, it was awful. And she didn’t stop until she seemingly perforated her ear drum and screamed. God, is there anything more awful than watching things like people aggressively cleaning their ear, cutting their nails too close, popping a zit, or tearing a scab off? I mean, these are things that we all have probably done at one point in our lives – but seeing someone else do it makes it super horrifying.

Hannah ends up at the hospital after a phone call to her parents (I get that, I call my mom before going to the doctor sometimes too, even though she doesn’t have a medical degree) advising her to go there since they are in Michigan and can’t do anything for her.

Dark times for this girl.

Dark times for this girl.

The doctor at the hospital is pretty hilarious and rattles off some good one liners while Hannah explains her anxiety and why she did this. My favorite is when she asks if she can keep the q-tip and the doctor is like ” Certainly, I suggest you frame it”. He probably gets minor crazies like Hannah in the ER every day.

On her way home Hannah (sans pants, naturally) runs into Adam who is escaping the engagement party of Nat’s friend for a few seconds. It’s all kinds of weird and sad. She was going to try and hug him, he rebuffs her. He calls her kid and tell her to get her shit together. She tells him this meeting is making her feel sad and strange. She also tells him about the book deal and he reacts in a very nonchalant way that suggests he has really moved on.

Awkward street encounter.

Awkward street encounter.

Hannah is thrown by the fact that he has a new girlfriend and this girlfriend is a together enough person to have friends who are getting engaged. She heads home – sad, surprised and still anxious. The episode ends with a long shot of Hannah sitting on her tub and looking forlorn. It zooms in on her and then we see her compulsively stick another q-tip into her uninjured ear. Dark stuff y’all. Dark stuff.

You guys, I’m officially worried about Hannah. She has no friends (Shosh and Marnie haven’t really hung out with her much, Elijah’s gone, Jessa’s off the reservation, Adam is cold to her), her book is a mess, she is rocking some serious anxiety and OCD — please tell me this season isn’t going to end with a suicide attempt. I can’t handle this. C’mon Hannah – stop backsliding into your old ways and get yo shit together!

Shosh (& Ray)

I’d like to first address how amazing it is to see Ray in a purple girly snuggie when we first get a Ray/Shosh scene. Shosh is taking care of a slightly sick Ray by doing some “geisha shit” and going overboard to be accommodating to him. He notices she has been acting weird (the guilt of the doorman make-out is eating her up), but he feels bad and apologizes for the geisha comment.

Snuggie enthusiast and dabbler in the Macintosh arts

Snuggie enthusiast and dabbler in the Macintosh arts

Shosh notes that Ray never apologizes and in that moment we can feel just how invested Ray is in his relationship with Shosh. He is doing things that are out of character to make her happy, including helping Marnie lay down her track on Garage Band because he’s a known dabbler in the Macintosh arts (great line and delivery Ray).

We don’t see Shosh and Ray again until they are at Charlie’s AMU celebration party and Shosh is rocking the most magnificent side bun in the universe. It’s like a cinnamon roll is atop her head — it’s so very Shosh. Shosh goes on to flatter Charlie and yammer on about how great he looks and  Ray becomes hostile (and clearly jealous of Charlie’s success) and leaves to grab a shitty beer. Then Shosh actually flirts with Charlie – openly and awkwardly!! What is this behavior young lady?! I know that the doorman makeout unleashed something in you, but flirting with your roommate’s ex is where I’d like to draw the line.

Shosh's hair. I die.

Shosh’s hair. I die.

Shosh continues to circulate around the room – oozing confidence and flirty sex appeal and attracting boys with her half a Princess Leia hairdo much to Ray’s chagrin. Ray is being a jealous boyfriend but with good cause. And he is the only person who applauds after Marnie publicly embarrasses herself (more on that next) so I give him props.

In the end he confronts Shosh on avoiding him and being weird. He asked her point blank (Ray style is the best — he just says what he means) – if she doesn’t like him anymore. She confesses to “holding hands” with a doorman but tells Ray she still loves him and he doesn’t mind. The thing is, Ray isn’t stupid. I kind of think he knows there was more to it than “hand holding” but he is just so desperate to hold onto the only good thing he has in his life that he overlooks the transgression.

Shosh’s face as she tells Ray she still loves him and then gives him a hug is definitely indicative of stormy weather ahead. I’ll slap myself in the face if they aren’t broken up by the end of the finale next week. It’s too bad, they are good for each other, but not good for each other right now. Like so much of life, it comes down to timing.


Speaking of timing – Marnie’s is the WORST. We find out that Marnie is taking Ray’s advice and trying to pursue singing. She is attempting to “lay down tracks” on Garage Band and is hoping to add “a little bassoon” to her current jam — What.The.Fuck.Marnie? In more “What the Fuck Marnie?” news — WHY are you trying to have a lunch date with Charlie? Seriously? What’s wrong with you? You basically couldn’t stand the sight of him last season. You’ve pushed him away, acted weird, broke up with him while he was inside you — what the fuck is wrong with you? Leave this dude alone. End rant.

Crazy eyed psycho.

Crazy eyed psycho.

Anyway, Charlie has forgotten their plans because his company now has 20,000 average monthly users or as Shosh would just say “amus” and he is celebrating and forgets the lunch. And would you blame him? At this point I’d stop having anything to do with Marnie, esp. because Charlie is looking fine with a capital F. But because Charlie has a smothering savior complex – he can’t resist the slightly damaged and manic Marnie. He half-heartedly invites her to his company party that night and she accepts.

And now the scene that had me squirming in my seat. I mean, I almost can’t write about it. Marnie brings her ipod, interrupts the DJ and takes the microphone to dedicate a song to Charlie and the company. I was already dying before she even started singing. “Noooooo! Don’t do it. Walk away!” I yelled at the screen. But she didn’t listen. Marnie breaks into the WORST cover of Kanye West’s Stronger that I will probably ever hear. I don’t even know if I can listen to the regular version of Stronger any more after this.

And she just keeps going. Read the room, Marnie! She doesn’t stop. Everyone looks embarrassed for her and she has no idea. How can someone lack that much self-awareness? Is that even possible? She finishes the song — and the awkward silence is only punctured by Ray kindly clapping and cheering.

I'm still dying.

I’m still dying.

In the aftermath of the most cringe inducing performance ever, Charlie pulls Marnie into his office and asks if she is manic. She is still totally clueless and says “It wasn’t that bad, right?” and Charlie gives her the truth and says “Well, it wasn’t good.” THANK GOD. And then Marnie realizes that Charlie pities her. And he does, because at this moment, Marnie is the lowest we (and Charlie) have ever seen her. Her shit is a mess. She needs to hear this. She is flailing.

And as Charlie dealt her some harsh truth – I really liked him AND that he was a stone cold fox. But then, he suddenly becomes the worst when after Marnie asks him not to pity her, he starts making out with her. STOP IT MARNIE AND CHARLIE! This is totally stupid and self-destructive for both of you. And then they start banging on his desk and I just cover my eyes. This isn’t hot, it’s pathetic.

Marnie — I love you and I understand you’re lost and confused — but this is just a terrible idea. And Charlie – you really need to get over your whole “fixing broken girls/damsels in distress” fetish. It’s kind of creepy.


And once again Adam Driver absolutely owns an episode of Girls. Things with Natalia are going very well. Adam is doing normal boyfriend things like seeing Sandra Bullock movies and staying over at her house. I really like Natalia – she tells Adam she is ready to start having sex with him and then tells him exactly what she likes and doesn’t like. I think it’s great to finally see a woman on this show tell a man what she wants sexually in a way that is totally normal and casual. Adam likes it too and tells her so and she gives the best response “I didn’t know there was another way.” She’s the anti-Hannah, and I’m into it.

Before things went horribly wrong.

Before things went horribly wrong.

Adam likes this girl so much that he even says yes to going to an engagement party even though things like that (or Sandra Bullock movies for that matter) are definitely not his thing. At the engagement party we can see how out of his element Adam is as a bro comes out of the bathroom is like “So pissed we’re missing the game for this” and Adam is like “Yeah” but not interested at all.

Adam also is put through the “meet the friends and get judged” wringer by the hilarious Amy Schumer who is playing the engaged friend. She is a super hilarious stand-up comic btw — check her out. She meets him by flashing her ring, telling Adam she’ll kill him if he hurts Nat, and then tells him about when Nat blew her cousin. SO that’s the kind of night Adam is in for. Schumer and Nat also have the best exchange ever about Adam’s looks as they walk away – “God, he has the face of an old-timey criminal” “No he doesn’t, he looks like Peter Pan!”. TRUTH!

The face of an old timey criminal!

The face of an old timey criminal!

Adam steps outside for air and to escape the party and then runs into Hannah. He seems totally together and fine during this interaction (detailed more in the Hannah section up above) but then goes inside and proceeds to order a drink. I screamed at the screen – NO ADAM! No Jack and ginger!

And what the fuck is wrong with Natalia? Isn’t her mom a recovering alkie? Why would she be totally okay with her alcoholic boyfriend falling off the wagon? How is this a good idea? If you really cared for the dude, you’d tell him you don’t have to stay at the party and then leave together. BUT she doesn’t — what the hell man?

The proceeding montage of dancing and drinking leads me to believe that Adam gets at least a little tipsy before bringing Natalia back to his apartment. She reacts to his place the way any normal human being would – which is mildly terrified and disgusted. I mean – it looks a prop room for Saw and is not the cleanest. Then things get weird and creepy fast. Adam tells Natalia to get on all fours and to crawl to his bed. There is a force behind his voice that we haven’t heard him use in any scenes with her thus far.

Why did you let him drink?!?

Why did you let him drink?!?

Natalia crawls to the bed while rightfully whispering under her breath about getting tetanus and how dirty the floor is and how the situation is weird. Then she asks Adam what the hell is going on and he scoops her and throws her on the bed. For a split second I thought it would go back to being playful and normal after Adam realizes that Natalia isn’t the kind of girl who is into this shit.

Instead the scene takes a dark turn as Adam tells Nat he wants to fuck her from behind and she bewilderingly obliges. He immediately starts banging her and it seems violent and not enjoyable at all, judging from Nat’s face. And all the while Adam is talking and asking questions like “Do you like this? Do you like me now?” and generally being absolutely horrible. Then he pulls out, flips Nat over and finishes himself off on her tits (holy cum shot Batman — I can’t believe HBO can show that and I’m super grateful I don’t watch this show with my parents).

The face of an old timey criminal.
The bed of relationship destruction

Nat looks upset, disgusted and terrified. While I wouldn’t classify this scene as rape as some on the interwebs sites are suggesting – it was definitely a violation. Adam knew Nat wouldn’t be into what he was doing but he did it anyway. I applaud Nat for telling him immediately with tears her eyes that she didn’t like that at all. I’m happy she spoke up because no one deserves to get treated that way.

The most devastating thing about this whole scene is that Adam seems to have done this on purpose. He has willfully sabotaged this nice relationship with this great girl because he thinks he doesn’t deserve it. It sort of breaks my heart, even though I thought Adam was a major asshole and pig in this moment. When he looked at her and said “I guess you’re done with me now”, you could feel his shame and his resignation. Man, Adam Driver is the acting MVP on this show.

So that’s the show for the week. Next week is the season finale and I’ll be bringing you my last Girls recap of the season. What do you think is going to happen?

Here’s what I’m thinking – Hannah — nervous breakdown or suicide attempt, Adam – gets back in touch with Hannah — continues to drink, Marnie – casually sexing with Charlie — maybe he turns the tables and dumps her or maybe she starts pulling herself out of self loathing spiral and starts to get her shit together, Shosh – breaks up with Ray and hopefully gets a lil slutty. Ray – figures out what his passion is and starts pursuing it – I still think he’d be an awesome therapist even though he’s sort of a dick, Charlie – grows a set and dumps Marnie. Jessa – is she still on this show?

Winner of the Week – No one. This was an all around total bummer/cringer

Wound – Everyone? Is that possible?

Girls S2 E8 – I’m Tall and Semi-Dashing

5 Mar

This was a really interesting episode for me because I really, really loved parts of it and I really hated parts of it. I loved everything with Adam, who seems to have turned a corner in the mental health department and is at ease and charming as I’ve ever seen him, I loved most of Shosh’s stuff, and I mostly liked what happened with Marnie’s development.

But I really thought the Hannah parts of the storyline were sort of out of nowhere and uncomfortable and tainted what I thought was an otherwise solid episode. There were lots of characters and stories happening at once – which I much prefer to just following Hannah around upstate NY or in a rich doctor’s brownstone. So let’s get down to it.


I thought this episode showed how much Shosh has grown since we first met her and how much growing she still has to do. She tossed off so many funny lines at the beginning of the episode while walking with Ray and Marnie in the park that I had to pause my viewing and write some of them down. Her concern for Jessa was totally hilarious and I really enjoyed the “I can’t stop thinking about Jessa. Where is she? What is she wearing? Is it linen? What languages is she speaking?” exchange.

Marnie of course rocks Shosh back to reality by explaining that this is what Jessa does and Shosh needs to learn to accept it and move on. Ray also pipes in and tells her not to worry because Jessa’s a “fucking huslter”. This is a true story. Jessa will be fine. But what I really enjoy about this exchange is an example of how Marnie can so clearly see and pinpoint other’s motivations and flaws but cannot do the same for herself. It’s not an uncommon thing for people to do, but I do love how often we see this with Marnie.

"Is she warm enough?"

“Is she warm enough?”

After Marnie gives Shosh the cold, hard truth about Jessa – she gets a dose of harsh truth for herself when Ray and Shosh inform her that Charlie has sold an app to some tech billionaire and now has money, an office in Chelsea and people working for him. Marnie of course flees the scene and Shosh then has another moment where I laughed out loud. “We may never see her again. I do not trust anyone anymore. Seriously, I mean, the fabric of life is….RADITHKA!!!” She spots her old friend on rollerblades and girly exchange ensues.

Of course Shosh has and had a life outside of our Girls and Ray. She is in college and we get a glimpse at the type of people she used to hang out with before she had a boyfriend and was presumed dead by her vintage rollerblade loving friends. She has a chat with Radithka and accepts an invite to her party that night. As Shosh accepted the invite, I had to  wonder what college parties were like in NYC because it’s not like people had huge houses and no neighbors — don’t people just go out or go to clubs with fakes? And now I’m nostalgic for huge house parties with dirty basements in Pittsburgh. Dammit.

And so begins the dissolution of Ray and Shosh. Shosh wants to go to the party and Ray of course, feeling old and creepy about it – says he can’t go. And I agree, it would be creepy for a 33 year old to be at a college party, even if it’s the most awesome and classy college party ever (and it really sort of looked like it was). Ray also chastises Shosh for using air quotes and it seems creepily parental. I hate hearing the condescending “I thought we talked about you doing that” kind of thing. This whole argument showed how the age gap and maturity levels are starting to wear on the couple.

No college party creeping for this guy

No college party creeping for this guy

Of course I agree with Ray that he shouldn’t attend the party, but I also think that Shosh is young and should be going out and dating and seeing her friends. She tells Ray she is going anyway and she does. And she shows up with crazy hair (again) and I love it when she flirts with the hot doorman before going up to the party.

We only briefly see Shosh at the party as she talks about her relationship and bores her friend. It seems like Shosh has outgrown these parties or these people but she isn’t quite ready to stay home and read books in her undies like Ray. As she leaves the party early she runs into the sexy doorman again and ends up making out with him (and possibly more?).

I know I should be like “She’s cheating on Ray!” but mostly I thought “Man, he is sexy. And he has a job. But mostly, he’s sexy.” I loved that she asked him who’d be watching the door while they were mid makeout too. Classic Shosh! Anyway, this doesn’t bode well for our two weirdo lovebirds.


I feel like the less I say about this storyline, the better. I know Hannah’s portion of the episode was small in comparison to Adam or Shosh or Marnie but I was supremely annoyed by it. I am all for shows addressing issues with mental health – particularly shows about people in their 20s because there is no way that people get through this decade without some anxiety, depression, etc. but I really loathe that Dunham choose OCD and that it seemingly came out of nowhere.

OCD hannah

Apparently a phone call from Adam triggers this behavior, but I wonder why now? Hannah seems to have effectively moved on from him and hasn’t shown much remorse or sadness for the relationship ending and we are supposed to believe that suddenly he triggers her long dormant OCD that we have NEVER heard about up until now? Hannah is an embarrassingly open book and I am shocked her OCD tendencies were never discussed until now. I get that most people wouldn’t want to talk about their mental health past, but this development was totally ridic to me.

Hannah counts things obsessively and I had a hard time believing any of it. I did love her odd behavior at the Judy Collins show with her parents, but mostly I felt uncomfortable and felt the story to be unbelievable to what we already knew about Hannah. One thing it does explain is why her parents are how they are with her. BUT – her mom IS kind of a dick of about the whole thing.

I know you're not anorexic. I've seen you in a bathing suit.

I know you’re not anorexic. I’ve seen you in a bathing suit.

Hannah’s story ends in a therapy session where she explains all of her behaviors to the therapist and we get a bit of back story about just how intense her OCD was. She tries to pin the recurrence on Adam but I think it’s the book deal and she talks about that a bit too. Quick beef – does this therapist have night hours? The session seems to be immediately after the Judy Collin’s show but that would mean it was later at night. Are there late night therapists and would their waiting rooms be full of kids and others? In the end Hannah  ends up getting medicine and riding the subway back to her place with her concerned parents.

I understand Hannah is the main character but after watching Shosh, Marnie and Adam this episode – I really wish she wasn’t. Ugh. Wound!


Marnie is obvi on a downward spiral. She’s wearing a hooded long-sleeve shirt and her hair is in pigtails, which wouldn’t signal depression for me– but after seeing Marnie so well put together for the run of this series – I think this might be her version of wearing pajamas out of the house. Marnie has really become sad and sympathetic this season and I enjoy watching her wallow and struggle more than I expected but I’ve also seen her vulnerability and fear beneath her formerly confident shell.

The devastation she feels when she finds out that not only Charlie has moved on from her but is also thriving and super successful is written all over her face. She is so thrown she decides she needs to see it for herself. And Charlie’s office space is what I think of when I hear “cool internet start-up” – full of beautiful, young, hip employees, an open layout, candy jars, etc. Charlie looks amazing and Marnie looks “eh” for Marnie.

He’s created an app that was inspired by her and that must send Marnie into even more of a spiral. Marnie didn’t want Charlie, but now that she sees him as successful and admired and lookin fine she is driven crazy by it. Isn’t it always kind of upsetting when you realize that an ex has done better off without you and that perhaps you inspired them to be better or do better? “Why weren’t they like that when you were with them?” you wonder. Well, that feeling is confirmed here when Marnie sees all of Charlie’s success that came from their split.

Hot mess.
                                                                                                     Hot mess.

Charlie gets lots of money and is sexy and Marnie gets a shitty job at a club full of creepers and a horrible “relationship” with Booth that just ended. And Charlie (who was a legit dick last time we saw him) does get a great dig in at the girl who broke up with him while he was still inside of her. Marnie says “I’m just here for support.” and Charlie’s  “Yeah, from me or for me?” was just about perfect. I tip my hat to you sir. I wouldn’t be surprised if this is sort of the last we see of Charlie. He’s moved on and it’s all good.

I really loved the Marnie and Ray scene when she comes home from her job after you know she was stewing about Charlie being successful post break-up all day. She thought he’d be broken for at least 6 years but he’s moved on and up while she is “dressed like a magician’s assistant” (nice one Ray! high five!). She asks Ray about Shosh but clearly doesn’t want to really know and wants to word vomit her feelings on someone and Ray is there.

I loved her projecting her own sad mess/unhappiness onto Charlie and saying it’s unfair how such messes are so successful and that people who really have their shit together like she does, are flailing around. Obvi, it’s the other way around but Marnie is not the most self aware person. Let’s face it, when we honestly have to think about others faults it isn’t difficult but when we think about ourselves we obviously have blind spots that others see, so I really liked this moment.

This is not a sad mess. This is a sexy younger looking Mark Ruffalo.

This is not a sad mess. This is a sexy younger looking Mark Ruffalo.

Ray calls her out and gives some wise advice. Take your energy and start using it toward something. Turn the potential to the kinetic, be an explorer, not a cartographer. He asks her what she really wants to do and she stalls. And he asks again and she blurts out she wants to sing. After a quick joke he makes her sing on the spot (and she pulls out some nice Norah Jones) and he asks what the fuck is she waiting for.

She isn’t going to be young and hot forever so she needs to start doing this now if it’s what she wants. Sidenote – I had this moment of clarity where someone asked me the exact same question over Christmas and my gut response was “writing”- which  turned into creating this blog.

Also, what’s with all of these 90s and early 2000s references? Aren’t these people only 24? Do they know Duncan Sheik and Norah Jones that well? And maybe Ray has a future calling as a life coach. He gives the best and most reasonable advice of any of the people on this series. I’d totally watch a tv show where Ray became the next Frasier Crane or something.


I’ve saved the best for last. I really thought that Lena Dunham was turning all of the love I had slowly and steadily and unwarily built up for Adam last season into being freaked out and annoyed by him, but this episode has gotten me back on the Adam train in a big way. He was the star of the episode and I feel we’re starting to see the real and best part of Adam. Just like Charlie, he needed to break away from his toxic relationship to start to become his best self.

The episode starts with him in bed looking totally depressed and calling Hannah – not a great way to start. Then he takes a sip of something and gags. I know this is gross but was anyone else worried that Adam took a sip of a jar of jizz on accident? I know that sounds crazy, but Adam is totally the kind of dude who would shoot it into a cup and then leave it by the bed, right?  Just me? Okay, now I feel weird.

Adam sees that things aren’t going well and takes himself to an AA meeting where he offers the most honest and kind of heartbreaking depiction of what he’s been feeling and what happened with Hannah. I love that he said it’s not what he thought love was going to feel like because I am sure that is often the case. And I loved him talking about how he loved to teach her new things and how things started because she just stuck around. Again, I feel like this happens to people a lot but Adam nicely articulated the moment. Oh and he’ll bring cookies next time too — god, I loved him in this moment.

Have fun storming the castle.

Have fun storming the castle.

Adam was looking strangely smoking hot and was noticed by a woman played by Carol Kane who adorably and crazily complimented his height, his honesty and his cuteness. She sets him up on a date with her daughter Natalia and he says he’ll call her.

Man, Carol Kane is the best. As she was talking to Adam all I could think was “I’m not a witch, I’m your wife!” and “Humperdink, Humperdink, Humperdink!” — if you don’t know what I’m talking about, I can’t believe we’re friends. I loved her telling Adam he was a very respectable height and that he was cuter than a dimple on a bug’s ass.

Adam goes home and proceeds to pace around the apartment and begins to leave the most deliciously awkward but adorable voice message ever on Natalia’s answering machine. (Who has a land line and answering machine these days?!). I loved the whole Adam calling Natalia thing. Boy, they are making me love Adam again, he seems so nice and fun. “You’ll know me – I’m very tall and semi-dashing.” Even him fucking up at the end and talking about how he’ll be staring at her teeth like a creep was oddly endearing.

Tall and semi-dashing indeed.

Tall and semi-dashing indeed.

Their date goes so great. Natalia walks in and is played by that chick who used to be on Roswell back when the WB existed. She seems super into Adam too and they are both relaxed with each other and get along great. In fact, I love everything about Adam and his date. He seems so relaxed and cool and fun. I’m really happy for him by the end of the episode and hope that things go well with his land line having, private eye decoy, cool lady. This girl is totes way better than Hannah already and Adam comes across as more normal and likeable than ever. Loved it. Loved him.

Winner of the Week – The boys of girls — Adam and Ray. Adam for being adorable, semi-dashing, honest, and cool. And Ray for being a terrific observer and life coach.

Wound of the Week – Hannah, duh!

Girls S2 E7 – UTIs, Rabbits, and Thigh Creases

26 Feb

In case this season didn’t make it perfectly clear already – this show is very clearly about Hannah. I’m not saying this a terrible thing, but I feel that I enjoy the show the most when all of the characters are together and bouncing off each other in the same place. I miss the days when they went to a party in Bushwick and were all in the same place, even though they each had their own storyline (the best being Shosh accidentally smoking crack).

But this show has become Hannah’s, even when it’s not supposed to be. Tonight’s episode is an example of how I thought we’d finally be getting a good story about Jessa but Jessa’s story turns into a breakthrough for Hannah and a continued stall in character progression for Jessa. So let’s get into it. Again, we’ve only got two girls to discuss this week since Hannah and Jessa go upstate to visit Jessa’s absentee father and his new-ish girlfriend Petula.

The Wound of the Week

The Wound of the Week


I think we were supposed to gain some insight into Jessa by seeing and hearing about her fucked up family but really, it wasn’t anything that I didn’t already know or figure out on my own. Jessa was the type of kid who was picked up last from a school event or maybe not even picked up at all and instead stayed at a friend’s house after school dances or soccer games. Hannah knows this because as she is talking about this being her greatest fear and Jessa thinks it is ridiculous.

Jessa was that girl in middle school who stayed at your house for like four days in a row because you had a normal family and hers was super crazy. I knew some of those girls and my mom, being the the fabulous human being that she is, would welcome these types of friends into our house and mom the shit out of them. They loved coming to our house. And only now as an adult can I really understand why. These girls were Jessa’s in their own ways.

The thing about being friends with a Jessa is that they think everything revolves around them and are super defensive of how fucked up their childhood was. We get it Jessa — you wanted your dad to want to see you so badly, that you actually took his butt text as a “I really want to see you.” It was a sad and sort of pathetic admission when she told Hannah, but then basically told Hannah that she was horrible for suggesting it was only a butt text and nothing more.

The worst heart to heart ever.

The worst heart to heart ever.

She wants her dad to want to see her so badly, but it’s pretty clear he doesn’t return the feeling. He is late in picking them up, he doesn’t cancel plans to see a lecture in order to hang out with her, and in the end he abandons her at grocery store after they have a painfully badly acted heart to heart on a swing set about how he never showed up for her or was there for her. I hate to sound mean, but it was all pretty uninteresting and didn’t hit the emotional spots I think it was going for.

Jessa does get in a few good moments though – my favorite example being the moment where she is waiting for Hannah to finish having cemetery sex with creepy Frank and then calls Hannah out for doing so. Hannah thought they were each separating for some quality doing it time with the young boys but Jessa is disgusted and gives her a great “What the fuck is wrong with you?” face and calls her out for doing a barely legal teen. Thank god.

Rabbit anyone?

Rabbit anyone?

So, in the end, after walking back to the house after being abandoned by her dad again, Jessa does what she does best and flees – leaving Hannah only a note. This is nothing new but it’s really disappointing to me that instead of taking this opportunity to let Jessa have a break through and start separating herself from her past and start to grow up – they chose to have her run away. Just like her father would. UGH.

I know this is probably because Jemima Kirke was pregnant in real life and needed to be written off for awhile, but I can still feel disappointed. Maybe Jessa will realize and own up to her faults and failings and move past her seemingly shitty childhood and come back a new woman. But I fear I’m asking too much. Jessa remains to be the least developed and my least favorite Girl.


This episode perfectly captured what it feels like to go to a friend’s hometown and meet her family, friends, etc. It’s almost like visiting a foreign country and Hannah is definitely out of her element. Jessa’s stepmom embraces Hannah as the “cushion” between Jessa and herself, but in reality I didn’t see much tension between the two women at all. Hannah is freaked out and possibly slightly charmed by Jessa’s weirdo family – who compare life to video games, eat rabbits they raise, have old computers in the back of their cars, and have son’s who are weird and loser-y and wear turtlenecks.

I really enjoyed the girls leaving with the nineteen year old boys and driving around back roads while doing whippets. It’s a very “bored in your small town” type of thing to do. And of course it leads to the most awkward sex ever when Hannah runs off, pissed off about Jessa being immature and then steals weirdo Frank’s v-card in a cemetery. She even tries to have a weird conversation about heaven before Frank comes in her thigh crease after 8 seconds. The casting of Frank was perfect. As was his terrible haircut, jean shorts and turtleneck.

Future Jessa?

Future Jessa?

I don’t know what to say about Hannah’s UTI and why they kept bringing it up. Was it supposed to mean something other than, Hannah doesn’t know how to take care of herself and see a doctor when she’s sick? I’m not sure. Anyway, the post sex conversation between Hannah and Frank the next morning was deliciously awkward as she cons him into admitting he was a virgin and she a v-card shredder. He also pretty much admits he is gay and in love with Tyler. Of course. Hannah, you are so dumb sometimes. Maybe the UTI coming back at the end is karma for bad decision making?

Also – what does Hannah see in Jessa as a friend? I mean – she is mean to her and is always telling her that she cares too much about dumb stuff, should suck it up, doesn’t understand, etc. She is pretty mean in this episode, especially to someone who is coming up to support her while she visits her shitty father. And then she leaves her with that terrible note, abandoning her with no explanation and making her find her way back to NYC alone. And Hannah has been letting Jessa stay at her place and be depressed and mean to her too. She needs to rethink her friend sitch.

In the end – after visiting Jessa’s planet of weird accents, pet rabbit dinners, whippets, dirty houses, weird stepmoms and dad’s who are never there for you – she is the one that has the breakthrough and realizes how amazingly supportive her parents are and were to her. It’s a strange feeling to finally realize that your parents are humans too and that they make mistakes and choices and then you realize how much they sacrificed to make you feel safe, secure and loved.You’re suddenly amazed that these people have done all of these selfless and amazing things for you and you almost can’t wrap your mind around loving someone or being loved that much.

Hannah's rents are the tops. I especially love her mom since she was Mrs. Weir on Freaks and Geeks!

Hannah’s rents are the tops. I especially love her mom since she was Mrs. Weir on Freaks and Geeks!

The phone call at the end was the most perfect scene of the episode (though I wish Hannah wasn’t peeing in the second part of it). I loved that Hannah and her parents nearly get into a fight when all she is doing is to call them and tell them she is grateful and she understands how special it is to have loving, concerned parents. I too have called to tell my mom I loved her and we ended up talking about mail she sent me that I wish she would have told me about sooner (this conversation happened last night).  So I really loved that at first Hannah’s parents are suspicious of the call – thinking she needs something but then are really touched when she says she doesn’t need anything other than to tell her parents how grateful she is of their love and support.

She gets a bit too effusive and then her mom freaks out because it’s rare for Hannah to be this aware and loving and to say such kind things. Their girl is growing up, but they think she is probably on drugs. But the thing is, it doesn’t matter what they think in this moment because Hannah has finally realized how great her parents are. She has a breakthrough and sees them as human beings. Hopefully this is a step in the right direction of self awareness and growing up for real. Being able to see your parents as complicated and real human beings who have given up a lot for you is a major step in becoming an adult. I am glad Hannah has gotten there and I hope it lasts.

Random Thoughts:

  • Jessa was sort of fun and silly for once in her life while doing accents with her dad
  • Don’t even get me started on Petula and her video game theory. I don’t have time for her nonsense in this blog except to say – doesn’t she look strangely like a grown up version of Jessa? Maybe she’s a cautionary tale.
  • Hannah continues her string of horrible outfits, though these were less horrible than most.
  • How painfully obvious was it that Jessa is pregs in real life? Carrying grocery bags? C’mon!
  • Everything Frank related was great to me.
  • Episodes that are sans Shosh are really way less quote worthy huh?
  • Again, the whole Hannah thinking they were on a sexcapade during the car trip situation was pretty great and I lol’ed a bunch
  • I think Lena Dunham has invaded my iTunes and brain. Silver Lining was pretty much the best song off the last (fairly crappy) Rilo Kiley album. Perfect use of the song. AND it ended with a great Aimee Mann song. Dear Lena, we are music soul mates.

Winner of the Week – I guess for once in my life I can say it was Hannah. She was funny – with the rabbit, her scenes with Petula, the creepy sex and confrontation with Frank, and finally when she realized her parents are great.

Wound of the Week – Obviously it’s Jessa. She just wants to blame all of her shit and problems on her messed up family situation but the truth is – lots of people I know have come from shitty situations and have turned out to be phenomenal human beings. At some point you have to let it go, and be the person you want to be – not the person whose past rules their behavior.

While I don’t think we really need this:

Girls S2 E6 – Love you, Bye

21 Feb

So Girls returns to it’s regular format and it seems that Hannah’s two days in Joshua’s house are all but forgotten. There is no mention of Hannah quitting and walking out on her job or of Joshua. I want to say I thought this was weird, but I am going to take the last episode as a stand alone, dream-like short film about Hannah instead of part of the series in order for me to wrap my mind around it. I’ve also written a rap song about Joshua called “Brownstone Paradise” that goes to the tune of Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise” – that I will refrain from posting on this blog out of respect for myself and for you. I guess you can say I thought a lot about last episode.

So there were pretty much two storylines going on in this episode with a smattering of other random moments but it mostly focused on Adam and Ray kind of bro-ing out in their quest to returned a stolen dog to Staten Island and then the intertwining stories of Hannah and Marnie’s crumbling lives/friendship.

I guess we’ll talk about the boys first for once instead of immediately talking about Hannah since she took up all of last recap like a selfish betch.

Adam and Ray – I can’t mention Ray without mentioning what spurs his trip to Adam’s and then off to Staten Island. Shosh and Ray are having at chat at Grumpys. After finding out her boyfriend is a “loser” who is living with her and aspires to do nothing more than be a barista she suggests that he attend a learning annex seminar for entrepreneurs complete with a speech by Donald Trump. Shosh is gently trying to nudge Ray into making a decision about his future and he balks at the idea. Hannah walks in just in time before the conversation gets bigger and  apparently was not fired for walking out of her job and fucking Josh(ua) for two straight days.

A Marmee or an Amy?

A Marmee or an Amy?

As Ray berates Hannah for being late and they start a conversation about Hannah’s book deal – he asks where his copy of Little Women he lent her is. Naturally, she left it Adam’s because Hannah is the type of friend who would TOTALLY borrow your stuff and then nonchalantly leave it somewhere she was never planning on going to again. UGH. I hate that. I might have made people sign books out of my personal library before and I also never lend to someone again after they’ve not returned something or lost it. Fuckers.

I love my books. And so does Ray — especially because his godmother writes things “that relate to his shit” in the back of the books she has gifted him. I thought this statement to be funny and oddly sweet. How does Little Women relate to his shit? Who knows? But when Shosh asks him the hilarious “Are you a Marmee or an Amy?” – it was worth the set up. The conversation ends by both Hannah and Shosh telling Ray that it’s his duty as a man to go get his own book back – and with his manhood in question – he heads to Adam’s.

Boys talkin' bout Girls

Boys talkin’ bout Girls

There was a time that I loved Adam and thought he was weirdly appealing but now I am questioning his sanity. Of course he’s blasting loud rock/metal music and throwing around tools in his apartment of found objects (that is starting to resemble a prop room for the Saw movies) and then we find out he stole a dog. Sure, we’ve all thought about this before after seeing a person mistreat an animal (or a child) – we briefly think — I am gonna go rescue that poor thing – but then we realize that is completely fucking crazy and we don’t. But not Adam. He is so lonely and off the hinges that he steals a dog. Said dog of course bites him and to remedy the sitch, he puts the dog in the bathroom and pours baking soda on his wound. Yikes. If this is sounding crazy, it’s because it is, it’s fucking nuts.

Ray just wants his book back and so after chastising Adam for stealing man’s best friend and encouraging him to return “dog” to Staten Island, Ray tells Adam that he can just leave the book in his mail area and he’ll get it later. But then Adam asks Ray to come with him to Staten Island and Ray is so desperate to feel like a man and be someone’s back up – he takes the bait and hops on the ferry.

They proceed to have a conversation about women and Shosh and Hannah that I find to be completely fucking unrealistic. This is like a woman’s fantasy of what guys talk about with each other when we’re not there — because there is no way that Adam would ask how things were “going” with Ray and Shosh. Guys don’t talk about that shit with other guys who are pretty much strangers.

Two weird looking dudes

Two weird looking dudes

They have this deep conversation about how women being confident in their bodies is sexy and how the women in their life don’t get that it’s hard trying to be a man/deal with life’s disappointments (this is obviously paraphrasing – but you get the point). And I call bullshit — these guys would not have this conversation and while it serves to draw comparisons between our two resident loser dudes, it also sort of pissed me off for being pretty much a lady’s wet dream of manly conversation.

Anyway, eventually Adam and Ray get into a fight because Ray is an insecure know-it-all and Adam has anger problems that probably require medication and Adam leaves Ray to return the dog to the trashy as hell owners. Now, as I am not a resident of NYC — can anyone tell me how accurate a picture of Staten Island this paints? Is SI the Sunbury of central Pennsylvania (or insert hood-like area of your local hometown/city) that everyone avoids and mocks? The owner’s daughter ends up screaming at Ray, calling him a loser (poor Ray – everyone is making him feel inadequate this episode), and making him keep the dog.

Ray’s portion of the episode ends with him and the muzzled dog looking at Manhattan as Ray breaks into sobs at a park. I like Ray and everything – but everything Adam, the crazy girl and Shosh say to him are true. He needs to start growing up and figuring out what he wants — or at least get his own place and stop living out of his Mitsubishi.

Hannah and Marnie

I loved the scene of Hannah getting the e-book deal. She can’t believe her good fortune and you can tell she is also terrified of it and not sure she deserves it. Nothing says sheer terror like the gross scene of her puking right after getting the greatest news of her young life. Hannah tries calling Marnie to relay her exciting career development but Marnie is too busy boning the disgusting and tiny Booth Jonathan at his apartment. She ignores the calls from Hannah telling Booth “She probably just posted a new blog or found a really great hot dog” and this prompted Booth to ask why Marnie is even friends with Hannah. Marnie starts to answer but Booth cuts her off as his assistant comes in.

hannah writing

But it’s a question we’ve all been wondering — why are Hannah and Marnie still friends? It happens to all of us – we outgrow people or the people who once fit so well into our life or who we tolerated because it was just easier, don’t have to be kept once you move into a big new city. After Booth fires his assistant for eating a scoop of his rosewater ice cream (that sentence can’t get any douchier) and she storms off to join her boyfriend who is “doing lights for the Carly Rae Jepsen tour” — (perfect line) – Booth asks Marnie to assist with the party.

Oh poor, diluted Marnie thinks that she and Booth are dating and they are hosting a dinner party. She tries on dresses and talks to Shosh about their coupledom in a smug pug way that is nearly too much to take. And she seemingly doesn’t invite Shosh. Dick move Marnie. No one puts Shoshie in the corner.

Hannah, after procrastinating and writing the worst first sentence of an e-book ever, decides to attend Marnie’s function – though I’m not sure it’s out of support for Marnie or because she is realizing there is no way that she can get this book done in a month and maybe she’s not as smart and talented as she’d like to believe she is. Hannah endearingly shows up in a rain jacket while everyone else is all arty and too cool at the door. I loved Hannah’s hesitation before deciding to go in and how she catches Marnie putting her jacket underneath the pile so it won’t stand out. Marnie — UGH — you are in danger of being the wound!

the worst
The worst.

Hannah keeps trying to tell Marnie about her book deal but Marnie is focusing on being a tool, talking to “cooler” people and wearing the most hideous dress EVER! What was that thing? In the end, Hannah is left talking to a weirdo art guy and finds out that another person at the party also has a book deal, but it’s “only”an e-book deal, so it’s not a big thing. OUCH. Hannah then makes an excuse to run home, lick her wounds and write what I assume will be the worst book ever.

We also see what seems to be the end of the Booth/Marnie relationship as she calls him her boyfriend and he tells her that he thought she was being his assistant who he is boning and will throw $500 to for the party help. Marnie starts crying (really really bad acting crying — I mean, ruff stuff) and Booth calls her out for wanting to be with the idea of of him and not him. It’s a really embarrassing conversation for both of them and ends of course with Booth throwing a hissy fit and breaking bottles of wine. Marnie is crying because she’s never thought someone was her boyfriend who didn’t want to be — deal with it Marnie — even pretty girls are sometimes just slam pieces for douches.

God, this scene crushed me.

God, this scene crushed me.

Marnie flees the party and starts taking off parts of her awful Judy Jetson party dress at the subway and in a moment of weakness Hannah calls her to check in (or is she just procrastinating some more). Marnie seems relieved to be talking to Hannah and you can tell that they both want to tell each other the awful things that are happening to them — but they’re in a weird place. The looks on both of their faces when they ask each other what’s going on is so telling and heartbreaking.

They miss each other and want to say so much, but they can’t. God, Marnie was going to be wound of the week for me but when I saw her sad pathetic face and had to listen to her telling Hannah they were in Booth’s garden as she stood against the wall in half her dress at the subway station — I nearly cried.

I don’t know why this scene killed me so much. Perhaps because I know this feeling and remember it. The feeling like your friendship with someone is never going to be what it was and you are reduced to pleasantries with someone who used to know everything about you — and you want to talk about it, but eventually way leads on to way and  you don’t say anything — and you’re soon strangers. Ugh. Anyway, Marnie and Hannah — please stop and talk to each other. I need you to be friends because you are both hot messes right now and use each others perspectives.  I can’t take many more “Love you, bye” conversations that feel so sad.

Remember this you guys?! Just be friends again, ok?

Remember this you guys?! Just be friends again, ok?

We also had bits of Jessa in this storyline but she was depressed and awful but spitting truths nonetheless. No one wants to hear that what they are doing or not doing doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things but sadly Jessa is right. If Hannah writes the book it won’t matter one way or another to anyone in a month or so. It’s not going to change much. This is pretty harsh because Hannah is allowing Jessa to stay at her place and because who the fuck crushes their best friend’s good news with this sort of statement? Dick move Jessa.

So that concludes the recap. What did you think of the episode? Are Shosh and Ray headed for heartbreak? Will Hannah get her shit together and write a book? Will Adam stop being the Incredible Hulk? Will Marnie finally stop spiraling and get her shit together?

Quote of the Week :

Ray: Usually when people say they wanna be a writer they really don’t wanna do anything except, ya know, eat and masturbate.

Episode Winner: Hannah’s e-book editor. I loved that guy. I too, couldn’t believe he didn’t know what a pistachio was.

Wound of the Week : Booth Jonathan, Booth Jonathan’s cry face being projected on the wall of his apartment, Marnie’s dress.

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Girls S2 E5 – A Few More Thoughts

14 Feb

Okay, so last week I was in Sapporo for the famous snow festival drinking ridiculous amounts of beer and looking at snow sculptures (my life is so hard) so I asked Brem if she’d kindly take over the Girls recap for the week. I was looking forward to hearing her take on the show and I must admit I was slightly psyched to take a break from recapping – writing about this show is occasionally maddening.

But then Lena Dunham goes and does this crazy stand-alone episode and all of a sudden I feel sad I am not recapping because what. the. fuck. just happened? So I already told Brem (who did a terrific write-up which you should read) that I might jot down a few notes and post them on the blog because three days after finally watching this episode when I returned home and I am still thinking about it.

So anyway – this episode reminded me of that time on Lost when they decided to completely ignore the season’s plot and instead focus on two background characters – (Nikki and Paulo) and see the island and survivors through their eyes. It was an interesting choice AND it really pissed people off. And I imagine this episode made people feel the same way. We get Hannah in complete isolation from everything else we’ve come to know on the show (except for a little of Ray and Grumpy’s at the beginning).

Things That Ran Through My Mind While Watching This –

1) Why does Lena Dunham insist on wearing short shorts and awful clothes? I get it — she is cool with her body and I’m cool with that. As a not sized 0 human being I enjoy that she is so confident but seriously – I also dress to my body type which means that short shorts that ride up my ass and look turrrible should be avoided.

2) This episode was really beautifully lit and directed. I felt like I was in dream. Did anyone else think that part of this was in Hannah’s mind? I mean, I know she was definitely in hot doctor’s house and they banged but I liked to imagine that some of the conversation was not at all what was really being said, but what Hannah was pretending was being said in her mind (she really does skew things to revolve around her fairly often).

Things that made me think that were the explanation Joshua (oh fuck Patrick Wilson – you is fine) gave about his divorce which were weirdly vague (something something about location and things not working out) and the moment where Hannah asked him to beg her to stay and he ran through all of these crazy and dramatic romantic pleadings and beggings. Joshua did not strike me as the type of man that would do this — could this be really happening? Was this Hannah’s fantasy of begging? Did anyone else think there was a possibility that at least parts of this were in Hannah’s mind? Am I crazy for thinking this?

3) This episode felt like a sad short film/short story to me about how two lonely and lost people connect for a brief moment and then something happens, the moment passes and life goes on. I didn’t hate it like many people because I was prepared to view it as a stand alone episode, but had I not been ready for it I think I would have struggled more. I don’t watch Girls for it’s attempts at commentary on loneliness or existential ennui (especially from our Wound of the Week season leader – Hannah) – I watch it for the ensemble of characters Dunham has introduced us to, for it’s painfully awkward and humorous takes on life in your 20s, I watch it for Shosh and Ray, for Marnie’s sarcasm, for Adam’s charming weirdness, etc. I didn’t hate this episode but I am hoping doesn’t continue to do these kinds of things because I think it’s tonally very weird. But is it wrong to say I wouldn’t mind an episode that came totally from Shosh’s POV?

4) When you take away the ensemble for Hannah to bounce off of, I am not sure how I feel about her. There were moments in this episode where I really felt for her and liked her. I loved her in the moment when she watched Joshua read the newspaper in the morning outside. I like that Dunham choose to not voice anything in that moment and let us instead wonder what Hannah was thinking that made her make that face. She looks happy and wistful at the same time, almost as if you can sense her thinking that she is going to fuck this up and also realizing that this life of Joshua’s which she has tried so hard to rebel against might be something that she actually really wants.  I feel you girl.

5) The episode really gets right the whole “should I stay or should I go” thing that happens when you are first seeing someone/staying over or even if you have a one night stand. It’s always awkward and messy to leave — there’s no good way to exit without making yourself or the other person feel like shit.

Also, I love how it captures the moment when Hannah takes it too far with her confessions and goes from being a quirky young woman in Joshua’s eyes to a whole bowl of crazy he wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole. We all have put our foot in our mouth with potential romantic suitors and even when I can hear my brain telling me to “shut UP!”, I can’t stop myself and self destruct.

Of course Hannah couldn’t handle this sitch. Brem pretty much wrote about what a nut Hannah turns into so I won’t say much more. But was anyone else super disturbed about the potential idea that Hannah was sexually molested by her babysitter? This would explain all of her weird attitudes towards sex. But who just drops that into a script?

Other Random Thoughts –

The Ping Pong thing – Again, this is well covered by Brem — but who the hell plays ping pong topless? I can see playing ping pong pants-less — hell, I support pants-less ping pong – but topless is just weird. Although god bless Lena Dunham for having Patrick Wilson shirtless for a nice majority of this episode. Me likey.

– I loved Hannah’s complete and total honesty about the trash thing. She knew she sounded nuts and told the story anyway. Sometimes she is refreshingly brave and weird and I really dig her for that.

– I hated her “I just wanna be happy” admission. Fuck girl, welcome to the world — this is basically what everyone human being wants. Although kudos to the Fiona Apple reference and the whole “I just wanna feel it all”. Fiona is misunderstood but not crazy — I can see where you think you are like her, but I assure you Hannah Horvath – you aren’t Fiona.

– For some reason I really liked the end of the episode. Hannah taking her time and looking around at all the things in Joshua’s house and eating breakfast and trying on what it would be like to live this kind of life while at the same time saying goodbye to this particular opportunity to have it. It was both sad and kind of beautiful. I couldn’t help but wonder if Hannah has learned anything from this experience in the end or if she’ll go back to her life and everything will continue as it has been.

– I loved Brem for talking about how great a talky romance movie/tv show can be by citing my favorite romantic movie EVER – Before Sunrise (and Before Sunset) — seriously – if you have never seen these movies, I could not recommend them more. I don’t look across a room and fall in love with someone – but I can have a great conversation with someone and think — “My god — this person — where have they been all my life?”

Thanks to Brem for already posting about this week’s show — what a doozy to cover for her first recap! What did you think of the episode? Loved it or hated it? Please feel free to comment — we LOVE feedback in a way that is only mildly ego-centric. Happy Galentine’s Day y’all!


14 Feb

Wo-oof. When I agreed to take on this week’s GIRLS recap I was excited. But then this episode happened and BUZZ, YOUR GIRLFRIEND, WOOF! There was so much cringing I was starting to get muscle contractures.  It was a totally weird episode, that follows only Hannah through a 2-day encounter with a rich, handsome doctor after she admits she was sneaking trash into his can. I liked how it started, I like the premise and I bought into how she ended up banging this hot, successful dude, as you can just tell he’s incredibly lonely. I really love “Before Sunrise” type moment-in-time love stories that are allll dialogue (I might have had one personal experience where I met a guy at the beach and we stayed up all night talking on a porch and ended up kissing knee-high in the surf as the sun came up, never to speak to him again and it was  l o v e l y.) and this episode could have been awesome. Only it really wasn’t.


Things I liked about this episode:

  • The friggin beautiful house this man lived in, oh my.
  • When she asks him to beg her to stay (but not like he’s in Toy Story).  I don’t know I just really liked his response, and then hers. (Please don’t leave me, I want you to stay this night and every night, I don’t want you to ever leave my house, I will burn it down if you leave, there’s a good chance I’ll kill myself if you leave, I don’t ever want to be without you – I change my mind, it’s stressful!)
  • Scenes from next week’s episode. Other characters come back! Adam!

Things I didn’t really like about this episode:

  • Nudity – I like that Lena Dunham is comfortable doing sex scenes and being naked and I am honestly somewhat fascinated by the proportions of her body (as Jessa said “Her breasts! They’re teensy!”) but this was just. too. much. There is no reason not to put on a T-shirt when you are going to play ping pong.  I couldn’t even listen to the obnoxious drivel coming out of her mouth during that scene because all I was thinking was “you think you’re so kooky to have written in a naked ping pong scene! and “wow, those proportions!”.  And not to be a dick (said right before a super dick comment), but those see-through shorts were superbly awful, too.  I know I’m just too obsessed with bodies, but geeez.
  • I just couldn’t get over how much Joshua looks and talks like Gob Bluth, my mind kept saying “Hermano!”
  • Ray being a dick, wtf. I want to like him more than I do. Stop making him a dick, please. I do think he’s a good actor though.

Things I hated about this episode

  • Hannah (just one bullet needed here). She will also be running unopposed in this week’s Wound of the Week poll. First, her weird braggy confidence (You’re beautiful – You think so? – Yeah, don’t you? – Yeah, I DO it’s just not always the feedback I’ve been given) and the way she is self-righteously pissed when he just stares at her after her crazy rant.  There was an insecurity and uncertainty that made her somewhat endearing (I am 13 pounds overweight and it has been awful for me my whole life!) and now she is just insufferable.  I hated her being a dick and calling him Josh, her “baring her soul” about wanting to be happy (oh shut, up, you want a brownstone) and the kicker was the line “If anything I’m too smart, and too sensitive, and too not crazy”. Riiiight.


Girls S2 E4 – Wait…are we living together?

5 Feb

Finally we get some quality scenes with Shosh and Ray. Rayshanna? I wasn’t sure how many more Hannah-centric episodes of this show I could take and so I was happy to see the love and scenes being spread around to the rest on the cast – particularly to Shosh and Ray. Jessa and Thomas John also had a great scene together as did Marnie and Charlie. And Hannah wasn’t the most intolerable character for once (though I’m not sure I’ll ever forgive her for kicking out Elijah and being such a dick about it). This was hands down my favorite episode of this season so far and I had to rewind my favorite parts to watch them again.  So let’s see what’s going on with our Girls.

Hannah –
First of all – GOODBYE ELIJAH (sniffle, tear). I am so sad to write that but after Hannah’s bitchy behavior (can you believe she called George and is keeping all the furniture?!?) I have a hard time imagining Elijah ever forgiving Hannah. Their ending fight was still pretty funny and full of great one liners “You can’t re-purpose me like I’m a vintage cardigan!”but I’m very sad to see Elijah go and to see Hannah be such a ho about it.

Jazzhate must have liked her article about doing blow, wearing mesh t-shirts, and then screwing the creepy neighbor because Hannah is now a published author. And to celebrate this occasion – she is cooking pad thai (all organic) and having a dinner party. This is the world’s weirdest and worst dinner party because Hannah is either an oblivious idiot and thinks it’s totally fine to invite both Marnie and Charlie and Audrey or she wanted awkward conversations to ensue.

Nothing bundt cake.

Nothing bundt cake.

I am completely confused as to why she would invite Charlie and Audrey at all, even if she didn’t think Marnie would show. Audrey is awful. With her mustard and her blog and her headbands (god bless Marnie for getting in that “Where do you get your headbands?” dig). And do people really stay friends with a best friend’s ex-boyfriend after they break up? I mean like the type of friends who invite each other to an intimate dinner party? I would never.

Hannah’s joy at cooking and attempts at being domestic and then her attempts to keep the conversation going after it’s clearly awkward for everyone were endearing and a nice showing of the fact that Hannah has indeed grown up at least a little but she isn’t the grown up she thinks she is quite yet. It was pretty awful that she would say “Let’s let Charlie pick who stays” after Audrey and Marnie get into a bitchfight at dinner. And she is still pretty hurtful and hateful to Marnie – explaining she can’t believe she came and then not defending her and calling her out on being less sexually adventurous in front of the group (in regards to the butt plug convo).

Talking bout butt plugs.

Talking bout butt plugs.

Shosh's reactions are the best!

Shosh’s reactions are the best!

In the end Hannah turns out to not be the worst person in the world this week when she defends Marnie when Charlie calls her a cunt. Thank god Hannah! I was beginning to think you actually hated Marnie. And even though Marnie wasn’t there to hear her say it, I am glad she did. It sort of illustrates the idea that Marnie is like family to Hannah. Hannah can be as irrationally mean and mad at Marnie as she wants but if anyone else crosses the line — bitches are gonna get cut because no one messes with your best friend. This is oddly true to life because some of the most awful things I have said are to the people I love the most, but if anyone else ever said those things I would not think twice to verbally bitch slap them.

The episode also ends on a nice note for Hannah (points on singing Wonderwall) when she comforts Jessa by just holding her hand and letting her be sad instead of bombarding her with questions. Sometimes you just want to cry and don’t want to talk about stuff. Hannah got that. However, it is SUPER weird that two friends would get into the bath together for this to happen. I love my best friends and have seen all of them naked and we’re totally not prudy people but does anyone else think it’s totally fucking weird to get into a small bathtub with a friend? And gross to the admission of peeing in the tub. That is nasty. Probably nastier than snot rockets. Anyway, congrats Hannah – you aren’t the wound of the week!

Marnie – Marnie shows up to Hannah’s dinner party and is treated like crap right away as Audrey is immediately an asshole and Hannah doesn’t stick up for her. It took serious ladyballs for Marnie to show up but I liked that she did because Hannah getting published is a big deal and she is trying to be a better friend (she even brings wine!). Marnie is clearly uncomfortable with the whole situation and volunteers to leave but Hannah insists everyone stay.

Marnie gets in two really amazing digs at Audrey while they are waiting for Ray and Shosh to show up. After Charlie explains Audrey’s venture into making mustards and Hannah shows amazement at it and wonders what she is doing with her life, Marnie responds that her own life is “Nothing that great. Nothing with condiments”. She then asks Audrey about her awful headbands. Points to Marnie. Especially because Audrey was a bitch first — asking about the hostessing job and in general being terrible.

Eventually Audrey pushes Marnie too far with her repeated use of the word butthole and the uncomfortable confrontation about Marnie staying over at Charlie’s after she had bad sex with a gay guy. Why would Charlie ever tell Audrey this? Unbelievable. The fight escalates between Audrey and Marnie and she runs off after Hannah won’t stand up for her and is going to let Charlie choose who stays.

Hannah: Charlie can pick who leaves.
Marnie:  Are you fucking serious? Grow up!
Hannah: Excuse me: I am grown up. That’s why I cooked all this food!

Oh Hannah – that was awful.Marnie retreats to the roof and of course Charlie (who might actually be the most awful person this episode) tries to comfort her instead of staying with his girlfriend. When Charlie arrives, Marnie launches into a monologue about what a mess she is. I think I have had this exact conversation with my mom and my sister and my best friends before. Sometimes in my mid 20s and even now I just wanted someone to tell me what I am supposed to be and what I should do. What job I should look into. I wanted decisions made for me. I didn’t want to keep making awful mistakes and feel like I wasn’t any closer to figuring it out. It’s a hard place to be and Charlie is kind to her after this heartfelt confession of confusion.

Before he called her the worst name ever.

Before he called her the worst name ever.

Marnie is grateful for his kindness but thought he was just being a friend – until he goes in for an unsolicited kiss. Marnie pushes him away and tells him she is seeing Booth Jonathan and Charlie flips out and calls him a short ewok before pointing to his crotch (I bet he has a small dick) and telling Marnie she is never getting any of that again. Real mature Charlie. Nice.

He then finds out that Audrey has left (duh!) and he has fucked it up big time. He proceeds to call Marnie the c word and gets smacked down by Hannah for being a total jerk. THANK GOD! Hannah and Marnie — please be friends again. You need each other.

SHOSH – It was recently pointed out to me that Shosh isn’t in my season long poll called “The Wound of the Week” that appears at the bottom of these write-ups. This is because Shosh could never EVER be the wound. Everything about her is wonderful. She is the best. When she shows up late to the party and offers an extremely detailed explanation about said lateness – it’s amazing. Even more amazing is that Ray cuts her off and is like “Stop. We were having sex. It’s okay to talk about it.” Yay! Shosh and Ray are grabbing some afternoon delight. Good for them!

Only Shosh could look around Hannah’s newly re-decorated apartment and cheerfully exclaim “I think you’re going to have some of the best years of your life here”. And she means it. Then the butt plug conversation about Hannah and Elijah. Shosh doesn’t know what butt plugs are! I have a hard time believing this because if you put the words together they definitely paint a picture. But her look of horror/wonder when she looks at Ray and says “Do you want that?” is amazeballs.

Rayshanna forever and ever!

Rayshanna forever and ever!

And then the best part. After Hannah asks Ray about his old apartment and he dodges the question and starts talking about staying with friends, Shosh pieces together that he is staying with no one but her. She realizes this at dinner and a look of horror and indignation crosses her face when she finally says “Wait…are we living together?” I mean, had she known she would have bought new sheets and called her aunt! After Ray asks if she is okay her response is perfectly Shosh – “I’m not okay, but we can talk about it when we get back to our shared home”. ZING!

Later in the episode, post awful dinner party (with terrible pad thai that no one but Hannah really ate) – Ray asks Shosh what she sees in a loser like him. He is a loser who lives out of his car and he is 33 years old and he knew soon enough his gorgeous and amazing 21 year old girlfriend would be on to it. So he asks why she’s with him. And Shosh confesses that she is falling in love with him. And it’s heartbreaking and amazing. Shosh is the only character who could get away with this because you believe she’s not cynical about love, she is sincere in everything, including her love of Ray.


Beautiful. Also, WTF with the hair?

And though Ray says it is way too early to say such things, he goes for it anyway and twice tells Shosh he “loves her so fucking much”. The fact that he had to repeat it because the train was going by the first time made it even better and I loved it even more. I hope things work out for these two crazy kids because they are my favorite thing about this season so far. Weirdo love forever.

Jessa – First a general observation about Jessa. She is THE WORST character on this show. She lives her life just collecting experiences so she can tell stories about them later that make her seem cool and more interesting, but she never goes beyond the surface of anything. Thomas John gets it right when they have  their relationship ending fight and calls her out by saying that this marriage is just another story you can tell people.

Jessa is obsessed with being too cool. I hate it. She’s such a smug pug all the time and acts like she has everything figured out, but I feel that of all the Girls she is the one who is the least adult. She is always putting on a show of authority and cool and being this independent individual but in actuality she reminds me of a teenager — trying on identities and never caring about anything enough to really commit to it, whether it’s a job or a place or a man.

Anyway, we should discuss her storyline this week since it turns out to be major for her. While I know Thomas John was never going to be around for long, I didn’t suspect things would implode this soon. Jessa shows her petulant teenager side when she meets Thomas John’s parents for dinner. While I can agree that they are annoyingly bourge-y I don’t think Jessa had to push so many buttons.

jessa and tj

First the whole “I hate this restaurant, but I don’t care because I’m happy to see you” bit is awful and she keeps it up. I could feel her trying to sabotage everything just for fun and to fuck with these people. Talking about rehab and how she hasn’t been to Spain because she’s “avoiding someone” is so calculated and you can feel how cool Jessa is trying to be. It’s maddening. Thomas John (whom I loathe) actually defends her and I feel bad for him. You know you’re being awful when someone feels bad for that douche rocket.

After they get home they get into one of those fights that you can only have when you’ve been around someone long enough to know their weak points and flaws they are most self-aware of. Jessa attacks how ordinary, boring, and average TJ is and TJ attacks Jessa for being more interested in money than she cares to admit and for just being a fucked up, too cool, collector of stories. The most telling “too cool for school” Jessa line happens in this fight “I will look 50 when I’m 30.” Eww. I hated her in that moment. Just because you’ve fucked up a lot doesn’t mean you’ve lived Jessa. You need therapy.

Both people wound each other with words in a way that there is no going back from and just like that Jessa is single again. The episodes ends with her going to Hannah’s and then creepily getting into the tub and crying and blowing a nasty snot rocket. Doesn’t anyone have boundaries? I am glad Jessa’s marriage is over, but I hope she learns from it and stops trying to be a certain way and buying into her own shit. She needs to figure out who she is and what she really wants. All the Girls do — but Jessa more than the rest.

Winner of the episode – Shoshanna and Ray, Marnie

Wounds of the Week – Jessa, Charlie

Note – The Wound of the Week is here again. Please vote. This poll is keeping a running tab throughout the course of the season and I’ll dedicate a blog to the biggest wound at the end of the season. Yes, I realize there is no Shosh. Get on board with that.

Girls S2 E3 – I Wanna Raise Show Dogs!

1 Feb

I need to first begin with a general note of praise for this show. I feel like no other television series (that is not So You Think You Can Dance) captures the magic of dancing quite like this show does. How it expresses the joy or frustration you can’t help but unleash or the feeling of being young and alive.

Last season we had some great dance moments – Hannah and Marnie dancing to Robyn in their apartment, the dancing at the rave episodes and at Jessa’s wedding, and this week we had the amazing dance sequence set to my anthem of last spring, Icona Pop’s “I Love It”. Who hasn’t had the experience of being crazy drunk or on something and just feeling the need to dance it out in a club or bar? The scene between Hannah and Elijah (complete with lip syncing) was crazy amazing and I. DON’T. CARE! I LOVE IT!

Just a little shot of the best scene this season.
Just a little shot of the best scene this season.

Now that I’ve gotten that note out of my system it’s time to check in on our ladies and see what they were up to this week. We’ll begin with Marnie and Jessa since they were pretty much relegated to the sidelines (again) for this episode. I am beginning to wonder if Jemima Kirke’s real life bun in the oven had something to do with her being mostly absent thus far in the season.

Shoshanna – Unfortunately Shosh can’t win this episode because she was in it for all of 4 minutes. But in those 4 minutes she preached truth in telling Hannah that all of the crackheads hang out in the lobby of apartment buildings near the mailbox. I can say that this seems pretty dead on as the biggest weirdos ever always do seem to be creeping in that area. If we don’t get a Shosh centric episode soon, I might die a little inside and curse this show. MORE SHOSH!

Jessa – This might be terrible to admit but I sort of forgot she existed on this show until they showed her illegal stoop sale as a way to bring all four characters together and find a way for Hannah to find coke for her story/experiment. I can’t really remember what Jessa said but she was there and sadly sans puppies. I am feeling very indifferent about her this season.

Okay let’s get down to business – we’ll get to Hannah first and then poor, beaten down Marnie. This episode was really weird to me because it felt like I was watching two shows — one was a hilarious and risky comedy (Hannah and Elijah on coke!) and the other a super cringe-worthy spiraling down the drain of self hate story (starring Season 2 MVP – Marnie).

Hannah – Hannah was both the best and the worst in this episode so I’m not sure how to talk about this all. Her meeting in the lobby for jazzhate online magazine was truly funny and awful and makes me die inside knowing that I am going to move to New York when I return from Japan and might have to deal with this shit. Thankfully, unlike Hannah I would never ever take a job where they suggest I do coke or have a threesome with people I meet on Craigslist for a story.

The whole “Where the Magic Happens” and the “Your Comfort Zone” visual bit was comedic gold and Dunham really had me busting up with her confused looks and confirmation that it meant the magic happens outside of your comfort zone. Jesus, good stuff. After admitting she’s never done coke (me either Hannah – and you’re welcome Mom! We all know you read these even though you don’t watch Girls) the editor tells her that it would be even more perfect. Do a bunch of coke and write about it.

Mesh shirts and glow necklaces.

Mesh shirts and glow necklaces.

The coke scenario leads us to the previously mentioned stoop sale where the girls discuss where to buy coke (and Marnie shows her surprise and disgust at such a thing) and the girls (except Hannah) mention that  Laird, Hannah’s creepster downstairs neighbor, is a junkie. This cues up a super awkward and funny meet and greet in the apartment hallway where Hannah is invited into a smitten Laird’s apartment and tries to give her POM juice before she gets around to mentioning her need for drugs.

I loved the little things in this scene — Laird’s turtle (and his seemingly irrational hatred of it), the refrigerator filled with mostly pomegranate juice, and Laird’s knowledge of Hannah’s wireless network names and magazine subscriptions. He is obviously interested in her and Hannah sees that as a cue to ask him to score her coke. He admits he is now clean and Hannah (being the worst) says something like “You just didn’t look clean, but uh, congratulations, that’s great”. Laird is so into her that he offers to get her coke anyway and she accepts. Who DOES that? Who let’s a recovering addict risk his sobriety to get you some coke for a story? You’re the pits Horvath!

But if Hannah hadn’t been an asshole we wouldn’t be given the glorious exploits that follow as Elijah and Hannah binge on coke and party like it’s 1999. The scenes where they are both motormouthing about their secret desires and Elijah admits he really really wants to raise show dogs was fan-fucking-tastic. Hannah writing out the idea on the wall in marker and Elijah’s “But that’s my dream. I meant write YOUR dream” was sooo good.

The Andrew/Andrew explanation, the outfit picked out by Elijah, the general fear that both of them had before going down the subway steps and then the glorious dancing and bonding at the club all had me laughing my ass off and nodding my head in acknowledgement of it’s spot on brilliance. There were too many great lines to list, but this part of the episode was a total joy. I loved Hannah switching shirts with the guy and then remaining in a yellow mesh half shirt for the remainder of the episode.

Of course Hannah can’t win this episode though because she Horvath’s it and makes Elijah’s admission about sleeping with Marnie all about her. UGH. I just wanted to slap her when she insisted they see Marnie immediately and then when she shows up at Booth Jonathan’s apartment to ream her out for being the bad friend. Dear Hannah, if you were trying to prove a point about you being the good friend – don’t show up coked out at your friend’s booty call and then call her out for being awful. It was a dick move. You aren’t the good friend Hannah — neither of you are good friends so stop acting smug and superior.

Call the wah-mbulance.
Call the wah-mbulance.

The episode also ends with two more dick moves when Hannah tells Elijah he can’t live with her anymore (Really Hannah — you can’t just kick out your roommates every time you have a fight – unless you want to live with completely awful creepers from Craigslist or your friend’s cousin’s friend’s boyfriend who is moving to the city soon-ish). Then, Hannah sleeps with poor, smitten, nearly relapsed Laird in the name of getting a good story out of it for jazzhate. Gross.

Marnie Okay Girls, I get it – Marnie needed to be knocked off her high horse a little bit and start figuring her shit out, but did she have to be knocked off this hard? I know bad things happen in your early 20s and questionable choices are made but watching Marnie this episode and realizing how far she has fallen was nearly torturous. Like Dumb and Dumber style – “We’ve got no jobs, we’ve got no money, our pets HEADS are falling off” kind of being knocked down.

Marnie doesn’t have the job she wants and doesn’t know what she wants but that doesn’t mean she needs to be insulted with a “You work here? That is so fucking pathetic” from Booth. Thankfully Marnie seemed to have a little fight in her when she retorted haughtily and gave a biting criticism of Booth’s work. However, her self loathing leads her to accept an invitation into the creepiest fucking apartment/bank vault of all time.

Oh Marnie, pull yo shit together girl!

Oh Marnie, pull yo shit together girl!

Booth’s apartment is chock full of horrors and awful “cutting edge” art. Vomit noise. Marnie is locked into a wall of televisions and made to watch horrific visions of animals decomposing, babies crying and more while Duncan Shiek’s ‘Barely Breathing’ loudly blasts over the speakers. It’s awful. And when Marnie emerges with a “What the fuck? What the fuck was that” – which was perfectly delivered by Allison Williams — I thought — thank god — our girl is back – she is going to strut out of the apartment and get her shit together.

But no. She tells Booth it’s brilliant and ends up face down on the bed while Booth bones her and makes more sex grunting noises than wild boars mating and forces Marnie to look at a doll and talk about its sad feelings. I was dying inside for Marnie at this point. And I died even more when she seemed pleased with herself as she told Hannah she was at Booth’s.

And then Hannah shows up and flips out on Marnie about the Elijah ‘two and a half pumps’ of sex incident and basically tells her she is a piece of shit friend. I stand by that while what Marnie did was a shitty thing, but she is not a shitty friend.

She has her flaws, but she is not the monster Hannah made her into in her diatrube. But because Marnie is so convinced right now she is a piece of shit (no direction in life, a job that has her flirting with old dudes for tips, a guy who degrades her during sex and locks her in an arthouse horror show, etc) that she takes the coke fueled word vomit from Hannah to heart. She starts to cry and admits she’s the worst and then goes to puke. It was awful. I miss the days when Hannah and Marnie were friends, don’t you? I know that friends fight and can grow apart – but let’s get them back together Dunham. Ok?

Video evidence that Hannah and Marnie are totally much better as friends:

Elijah – If this really is the last of you, I am going to miss you immensely. You reminded me of the best/worst year of my life when I lived with my best gay and we did things like get super drunk off of Franzia and lay down on our couches listening to the Wicked soundtrack as we sang and cried. Or the nights that we’d have improvisational dance parties (which were recorded) to the stylings of Cyndi Lauper and late 80s Madonna.

You were the best and I hope The New Normal gets cancelled so you can come back to Girls — where you belong. Au revoir you perfectly coiffed and catty gentleman. I’ll be pouring out some Franzia for you next week.

Future show dog owner and gem of my heart.

Future show dog owner and gem of my heart.

Laird – You were perfectly cast and a great little character. I don’t want to see you in many more episodes but I won’t mind if you pop up occasionally to be creepy and cry.

Episode Winner – Elijah, Hannah’s mesh shirt, Laird’s turtle

It’s a Draw – Hannah was both a winner and loser this week

Episode Loser/Wound of the Week – Booth Jonathan

Girls S2E2 – Murder-y in a Murder Way

22 Jan

Welcome back to week 2 of my Girls Recap. I have to admit that when I first watched this episode it kind of annoyed me – not enough Shosh, too much Hannah, a Hannah and Marnie bitch fight that both of them are better than (really? Did we have to go back to the looks thing?), and Adam being really creepy instead of just kind of creepy and endearing. So let’s get started.

Hannah – I first must address your fashion choices because seriously – What. The. Hell? While I secretly coveted your leopard print workout leggings – nearly everything else was awful. What was with the orange sleeping bag/jumpsuit? You looked like a glow worm serving time on Rikers. And the coveralls — ugh, don’t get me started. So outside of Hannah’s fashion disasters how was she doing this episode? Well, she was insufferable. First, making Elijah watch Adam’s videos and then when Elijah tells her he is sure he won’t murder her (like a good friend would) she turns it back on herself “Why, you don’t think he loved me enough to murder me?” It’s moments like that that I wish I could reach through the TV screen and bitch slap Hannah.

Sandy's face after gross misuse of Missy Elliot lyrics.

Sandy’s face after gross misuse of Missy Elliot lyrics.

Hannah’s worst moments came when she finally confronted her new Republican boyfriend about reading her essay. I rather enjoyed the banter/teasing between Elijah and the republican boyfriend (Sandy) and liked that they didn’t turn Sandy into a total cliche and had him rise above Elijah’s argument baiting. I liked that show was talking a little about politics and race issues even if I think they did it pretty poorly. Hannah ends up breaking up with Sandy via an uncomfortable argument about race and politics that makes neither party look good — each accusing each other of festishizing (that is a word right?)  the other.

But we know the truth – Hannah picked a fight because her feelings were hurt that Sandy didn’t love her essay “like everyone else”. Sandy tried to give her honest criticism but because Hannah is Hannah – she can’t take it and spirals out of control. I really loathed her during this fight. A lot. It was uncomfortable and awful and you knew that Hannah was going to tell everyone that they broke up because of Sandy’s politics (even if she doesn’t know shit about politics). It just sounds better to say “I’ve got principles. I respect gays and women too much to date a Republican” than to say “He didn’t like my essay and doesn’t think I am the greatest writer ever.” Ugh Hannah.

Will Jessa pay for this puppy's therapy bills after this?

Will Jessa pay for this puppy’s therapy bills after this?

Hannah also turned into a bitch monster when she returned home to find Marnie in her “slutty Von Trapp” uniform for her new job as hostess at a fancy club. Listen Hannah, Marnie has got to the pay the bills and didn’t have a job. Who cares if she took a pretty person job – she needs it and the money isn’t dirty. You are just pissed that you work at Grumpy’s and aren’t cute enough for a pretty person job. That isn’t what Marnie came over to tell you about – she wasn’t trying to rub it in your face. But here is another hard truth Hannah — you couldn’t be a hostess where Marnie works because you aren’t as cute (sorry, but it’s obvious) and you’re sort of an awkward and dick-ish person. Marnie was being a bitch to you too (This fight was the low point of the episode) but you started it. Howev, points for eating Cool Whip right out of the container. That looked so good.

Marnie –  I have a feeling this season is going to be the season of Marnie and I am totally okay with that. The less focus on Hannah, the better. Marnie’s deliciously awful job interview was a stand out scene for me in this episode. You can tell that at first Marnie has no idea that the woman interviewing her is being completely condescending. Allison Williams responses such as “We have a light orchestra” and “She is terrible at life” are comedic cold. The best line is when she finally realizes what a hosebeast the woman is when she asks “Where does one get a suit like that?” and she politely mumbles “Anne Taylor” knowing that this woman thinks she is not good enough. Oh god, it was great. Having gone through one or two awful interviews myself – I can say there is nothing worse than when you feel yourself not measuring up or fearing you’ve said too much or too little. Woof. Rough stuff.

A slutty Von Trapp

Marnie also wins points this episode for her fantastic and seething cat fight with Elijah. I was just telling a friend that I wish Elijah really was bi so that he and Marnie could occasionally hate fuck. Their chemistry is some of the best on the show and I feel positive I could watch 22 minutes of Andrew Rannells and Allison Williams just fighting, bantering, and angry making out/banging (and maybe singing some karaoke).

Jessa – Ugh, she was pretty insufferable wasn’t she? She definitely dethrones Marnie this week and wins the Smug Pug award. Her whole conversation with Hannah about how great married life is and how Thomas John looks at her paintings immediately (no shit, they are 8 feet tall and in the middle of your apartment Jessa), telling Hannah to read just one newspaper, or telling her that she over-thinks everything…ugh. Even if some of what Jessa said has a kernel of truth to it — being married doesn’t make you suddenly adult and wise. Part of me thinks she is acting this way because she thinks she is supposed to and if she really admitted it to herself – she is terrified. We’ll see how this plays out. The only thing I liked about the Jessa scenes were those cute freaking puppies and Jessa’s names for them (Garbage, Pucker and Hanukkah).

The only good thing in this picture are the puppies!

The only good thing in this picture are the puppies!

Shosh – Shosh’s pillow talk with Ray is so perfect and so Shosh. Those are the exact things I imagine Shosh would talk about – summer camp, archery, pig baiting. The whole scene was weirdly adorable (just like Shosh and Ray) and I’m happy to see these two in a good place right now. Shosh was a good friend to Marnie as well – telling her to get a pretty person job but also gently adding that she isn’t pretty enough to be a model. HA. Love you Shosh. And she would immediately call her friend who has the hostess job — like, right then, and proceed to set something up for Marnie. What a doll. I hope the next episodes is light on the Hannah and heavy on the Shosh because there wasn’t nearly enough of her here.

Badges in waterskiing, archery and an expert pig baiter.

Badges in waterskiing, archery and an expert pig baiter.

Other characters:

Elijah – Totally got what was coming to him with his boyfriend George and their break up. That fight was at turns sad, funny, and full of truths Elijah wasn’t prepared to hear. Also it gave us this line “It was only three thrusts”. I am not sure why Elijah would have told George about this unless he really wanted to break it off because it seems he is keeping the secret from Hannah. It’s both sweet and a testament to Hannah’s fragile ego that he is more scared to tell her than to tell his actual boyfriend. Interesting. The fight between Elijah and Marnie is an episode high as was Elijah telling Hannah she looks like a glow worm. Elijah for the win!

Thomas John – You are still horrible and the less I say about you and your creepy fedora and faux enthusiam for seeing Hannah – the better. You are gross. Go to a meeting and never come back.

Adam – The creepy video break-up album he sent to Hannah was believable but everything else that Adam did this episode was wildly out of character. Girls did great work last season with the character of Adam – making him in an oddly sympathetic but still slightly repulsive nice guy. He was complicated and you never knew exactly how to feel about him – but in the end you felt like he wasn’t the bad guy in his situation with Hannah, he was the one who was hurt and used. So to have him show up at Hannah’s like a stalker and then break into her house? Totally out of character. I thought at first that perhaps he was drinking again, but there was no indication of that. It was weird and scary and murder-y and I hated it. However, kudos and points to the writing staff because Adam would totally have a warrant out for public urination and unpaid parking tickets. My advice to Adam – let go of Hannah – she’s not worth the fines and the crazy my friend. Also – she called 911 on you. What a drama queen.

Episode Winner(s) – Shosh and Ray, Elijah, Jessa’s puppies

Further Proof of Shosh and Ray’s victory can be found here –

Episode Losers – Hannah (don’t ever use Missy Elliot lyrics again Dunham), Thomas John & Jessa and their awful tiger tattoos.

And now for my first ever Readers Poll — Who was “the wound” in this week’s episode?