So Girls returns to it’s regular format and it seems that Hannah’s two days in Joshua’s house are all but forgotten. There is no mention of Hannah quitting and walking out on her job or of Joshua. I want to say I thought this was weird, but I am going to take the last episode as a stand alone, dream-like short film about Hannah instead of part of the series in order for me to wrap my mind around it. I’ve also written a rap song about Joshua called “Brownstone Paradise” that goes to the tune of Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise” – that I will refrain from posting on this blog out of respect for myself and for you. I guess you can say I thought a lot about last episode.
So there were pretty much two storylines going on in this episode with a smattering of other random moments but it mostly focused on Adam and Ray kind of bro-ing out in their quest to returned a stolen dog to Staten Island and then the intertwining stories of Hannah and Marnie’s crumbling lives/friendship.
I guess we’ll talk about the boys first for once instead of immediately talking about Hannah since she took up all of last recap like a selfish betch.
Adam and Ray – I can’t mention Ray without mentioning what spurs his trip to Adam’s and then off to Staten Island. Shosh and Ray are having at chat at Grumpys. After finding out her boyfriend is a “loser” who is living with her and aspires to do nothing more than be a barista she suggests that he attend a learning annex seminar for entrepreneurs complete with a speech by Donald Trump. Shosh is gently trying to nudge Ray into making a decision about his future and he balks at the idea. Hannah walks in just in time before the conversation gets bigger and apparently was not fired for walking out of her job and fucking Josh(ua) for two straight days.
As Ray berates Hannah for being late and they start a conversation about Hannah’s book deal – he asks where his copy of Little Women he lent her is. Naturally, she left it Adam’s because Hannah is the type of friend who would TOTALLY borrow your stuff and then nonchalantly leave it somewhere she was never planning on going to again. UGH. I hate that. I might have made people sign books out of my personal library before and I also never lend to someone again after they’ve not returned something or lost it. Fuckers.
I love my books. And so does Ray — especially because his godmother writes things “that relate to his shit” in the back of the books she has gifted him. I thought this statement to be funny and oddly sweet. How does Little Women relate to his shit? Who knows? But when Shosh asks him the hilarious “Are you a Marmee or an Amy?” – it was worth the set up. The conversation ends by both Hannah and Shosh telling Ray that it’s his duty as a man to go get his own book back – and with his manhood in question – he heads to Adam’s.
There was a time that I loved Adam and thought he was weirdly appealing but now I am questioning his sanity. Of course he’s blasting loud rock/metal music and throwing around tools in his apartment of found objects (that is starting to resemble a prop room for the Saw movies) and then we find out he stole a dog. Sure, we’ve all thought about this before after seeing a person mistreat an animal (or a child) – we briefly think — I am gonna go rescue that poor thing – but then we realize that is completely fucking crazy and we don’t. But not Adam. He is so lonely and off the hinges that he steals a dog. Said dog of course bites him and to remedy the sitch, he puts the dog in the bathroom and pours baking soda on his wound. Yikes. If this is sounding crazy, it’s because it is, it’s fucking nuts.
Ray just wants his book back and so after chastising Adam for stealing man’s best friend and encouraging him to return “dog” to Staten Island, Ray tells Adam that he can just leave the book in his mail area and he’ll get it later. But then Adam asks Ray to come with him to Staten Island and Ray is so desperate to feel like a man and be someone’s back up – he takes the bait and hops on the ferry.
They proceed to have a conversation about women and Shosh and Hannah that I find to be completely fucking unrealistic. This is like a woman’s fantasy of what guys talk about with each other when we’re not there — because there is no way that Adam would ask how things were “going” with Ray and Shosh. Guys don’t talk about that shit with other guys who are pretty much strangers.
They have this deep conversation about how women being confident in their bodies is sexy and how the women in their life don’t get that it’s hard trying to be a man/deal with life’s disappointments (this is obviously paraphrasing – but you get the point). And I call bullshit — these guys would not have this conversation and while it serves to draw comparisons between our two resident loser dudes, it also sort of pissed me off for being pretty much a lady’s wet dream of manly conversation.
Anyway, eventually Adam and Ray get into a fight because Ray is an insecure know-it-all and Adam has anger problems that probably require medication and Adam leaves Ray to return the dog to the trashy as hell owners. Now, as I am not a resident of NYC — can anyone tell me how accurate a picture of Staten Island this paints? Is SI the Sunbury of central Pennsylvania (or insert hood-like area of your local hometown/city) that everyone avoids and mocks? The owner’s daughter ends up screaming at Ray, calling him a loser (poor Ray – everyone is making him feel inadequate this episode), and making him keep the dog.
Ray’s portion of the episode ends with him and the muzzled dog looking at Manhattan as Ray breaks into sobs at a park. I like Ray and everything – but everything Adam, the crazy girl and Shosh say to him are true. He needs to start growing up and figuring out what he wants — or at least get his own place and stop living out of his Mitsubishi.
Hannah and Marnie
I loved the scene of Hannah getting the e-book deal. She can’t believe her good fortune and you can tell she is also terrified of it and not sure she deserves it. Nothing says sheer terror like the gross scene of her puking right after getting the greatest news of her young life. Hannah tries calling Marnie to relay her exciting career development but Marnie is too busy boning the disgusting and tiny Booth Jonathan at his apartment. She ignores the calls from Hannah telling Booth “She probably just posted a new blog or found a really great hot dog” and this prompted Booth to ask why Marnie is even friends with Hannah. Marnie starts to answer but Booth cuts her off as his assistant comes in.
But it’s a question we’ve all been wondering — why are Hannah and Marnie still friends? It happens to all of us – we outgrow people or the people who once fit so well into our life or who we tolerated because it was just easier, don’t have to be kept once you move into a big new city. After Booth fires his assistant for eating a scoop of his rosewater ice cream (that sentence can’t get any douchier) and she storms off to join her boyfriend who is “doing lights for the Carly Rae Jepsen tour” — (perfect line) – Booth asks Marnie to assist with the party.
Oh poor, diluted Marnie thinks that she and Booth are dating and they are hosting a dinner party. She tries on dresses and talks to Shosh about their coupledom in a smug pug way that is nearly too much to take. And she seemingly doesn’t invite Shosh. Dick move Marnie. No one puts Shoshie in the corner.
Hannah, after procrastinating and writing the worst first sentence of an e-book ever, decides to attend Marnie’s function – though I’m not sure it’s out of support for Marnie or because she is realizing there is no way that she can get this book done in a month and maybe she’s not as smart and talented as she’d like to believe she is. Hannah endearingly shows up in a rain jacket while everyone else is all arty and too cool at the door. I loved Hannah’s hesitation before deciding to go in and how she catches Marnie putting her jacket underneath the pile so it won’t stand out. Marnie — UGH — you are in danger of being the wound!
Hannah keeps trying to tell Marnie about her book deal but Marnie is focusing on being a tool, talking to “cooler” people and wearing the most hideous dress EVER! What was that thing? In the end, Hannah is left talking to a weirdo art guy and finds out that another person at the party also has a book deal, but it’s “only”an e-book deal, so it’s not a big thing. OUCH. Hannah then makes an excuse to run home, lick her wounds and write what I assume will be the worst book ever.
We also see what seems to be the end of the Booth/Marnie relationship as she calls him her boyfriend and he tells her that he thought she was being his assistant who he is boning and will throw $500 to for the party help. Marnie starts crying (really really bad acting crying — I mean, ruff stuff) and Booth calls her out for wanting to be with the idea of of him and not him. It’s a really embarrassing conversation for both of them and ends of course with Booth throwing a hissy fit and breaking bottles of wine. Marnie is crying because she’s never thought someone was her boyfriend who didn’t want to be — deal with it Marnie — even pretty girls are sometimes just slam pieces for douches.
Marnie flees the party and starts taking off parts of her awful Judy Jetson party dress at the subway and in a moment of weakness Hannah calls her to check in (or is she just procrastinating some more). Marnie seems relieved to be talking to Hannah and you can tell that they both want to tell each other the awful things that are happening to them — but they’re in a weird place. The looks on both of their faces when they ask each other what’s going on is so telling and heartbreaking.
They miss each other and want to say so much, but they can’t. God, Marnie was going to be wound of the week for me but when I saw her sad pathetic face and had to listen to her telling Hannah they were in Booth’s garden as she stood against the wall in half her dress at the subway station — I nearly cried.
I don’t know why this scene killed me so much. Perhaps because I know this feeling and remember it. The feeling like your friendship with someone is never going to be what it was and you are reduced to pleasantries with someone who used to know everything about you — and you want to talk about it, but eventually way leads on to way and you don’t say anything — and you’re soon strangers. Ugh. Anyway, Marnie and Hannah — please stop and talk to each other. I need you to be friends because you are both hot messes right now and use each others perspectives. I can’t take many more “Love you, bye” conversations that feel so sad.
We also had bits of Jessa in this storyline but she was depressed and awful but spitting truths nonetheless. No one wants to hear that what they are doing or not doing doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things but sadly Jessa is right. If Hannah writes the book it won’t matter one way or another to anyone in a month or so. It’s not going to change much. This is pretty harsh because Hannah is allowing Jessa to stay at her place and because who the fuck crushes their best friend’s good news with this sort of statement? Dick move Jessa.
So that concludes the recap. What did you think of the episode? Are Shosh and Ray headed for heartbreak? Will Hannah get her shit together and write a book? Will Adam stop being the Incredible Hulk? Will Marnie finally stop spiraling and get her shit together?
Quote of the Week :
Ray: Usually when people say they wanna be a writer they really don’t wanna do anything except, ya know, eat and masturbate.
Episode Winner: Hannah’s e-book editor. I loved that guy. I too, couldn’t believe he didn’t know what a pistachio was.
Wound of the Week : Booth Jonathan, Booth Jonathan’s cry face being projected on the wall of his apartment, Marnie’s dress.
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