Review Roundup: A Bunch of Unrelated Stuff

11 Feb

So, wow, yeah, I’ve been terrible at blogging. My excuse is that we opened our homebrew store this past week and have been really busy. It’s a terrible excuse because I didn’t really do much for the store opening and also who cares? Anyway, I’m going to cram a bunch of unrelated crap into this post for your digestion!

Act 1 – Guilty Pleasures: Teen Mom and 16 and Pregnant

My biggest weakness when it comes to “bad” TV is the dynamic duo of 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom (or as Brad now calls any bad TV show “Teen Baby Mom” or as JK called it “pregnant babies and teenage retards” [i don’t like to use the r-word, but please!]). I know I’m not alone in the love of these shows, and that does bring me some solace. But just a teeny, tiny bit.  It is SO bad, so, so painfully bad that it forces me to take a look at my life and realize I’m living on a golden fucking cloud. So, yeah,  it is the worst ever reason to like a show. It is the exact, exact same desire to look for a person lying on the ground as you drive past a car accident that causes me to watch these shows. Oh, look, your life sucks way worse than mine. Imma spy on you! HOLY SHIT, your life is a shitshow!  Wow, yeah that makes me feel pretty despicable.  But, oh, look – cute babies!

janelles-mom

And in response to you, Beddall – I also really loved Coyote Ugly and me and my friend Jess saw it in the theater and tried to learn dance moves and pretended to dance on bars for a few months. We were still in the “career exploration” period of our lives so it was totally worthwhile.  And we learned something – nope, I don’t think we can make it in the world of dancing on bars. Thank god we didn’t try songwriting – I’ve seen my journals from that age and there is literally nothing more horrible ever written in the history of human beings.  Not even Twi.lig.ht.

Act 2 – Oscar movie review: Life of Pi

I decided to go to the movie theater alone for the first time in my life. And actually I almost failed as I got the time wrong and found myself banging on the door of the movie theater when it wasn’t even open yet and I felt really stupid. No matter. I really didn’t know what this movie was about – I knew there was a part about a boy on a boat with a tiger – but what I didn’t expect was allllll the animals.  If you don’t know about me and my feelings about animals I will simplify – I am afraid of them and when animals are near me I feel like I’m right on the verge of peeing myself.  So there were some uncomfortable parts and many, many parts when I was really afraid of the tiger.  I honestly doubt most people will have this reaction, as I am a weirdo.

But the important points – the story was sad and heartwarming and the whole thing was a beautiful, huge, visual feast – it gets a little weird and fantasyish at points but the visual effects are dazzling.  I may have audibly gasped a few times when different animals appeared onscreen and I was embarrassed when people in the theater turned to look at me. Thank god no one was there for me to embarrass.  Yeah, that’s a whale jumping through a sea of bioluminescent plankton.

lifeofpi

I am honestly at a loss about which movie I think should win best picture this year. More in depth analysis when I’ve seen ’em all.

Act 2 – Bonus Movie Review – 50/50

This movie just came on TV so I left it on not expecting much, but I ended up really liking it. I must have totally missed it when it was new, or it just didn’t generate a ton of buzz (ugh, did I really just say that? gross.) but whatever.  Joseph Gordon Levitt is super adorable in it (much better looking than when he was in Looper and they did weird stuff to his face to make him look like Bruce Willis – which didn’t work by the way) even when he was sickly and didn’t have hair (it’s a cancer movie – surprise!).  His crinkly eyes, awwwh – just as cute as he was in 500 days of Summer. I also really like Anna Kendrick, she does an amazing job of being a little girl pretending to be a grown up. She’s going to end up being the biggest breakout of Twi.light after all. Great awkwardness, Anna! (Is that a good compliment or what?!).

Anyway, in just about every romantic comedy (this one is a little romantic, but I really wouldn’t call it a romantic comedy. Or even a comedy. What is it? Heartwarming, sarcastic cancer movie with cute boy and Seth Rogan?) there is usually a point where one character does something really stupid and annoying that pisses off the other one and then they are separated and have to jump through hoops and have a series of annoying misunderstandings and “DON’T DO THAT” moments and it makes me tense and angry and if I didn’t mention it, annoyed. This movie didn’t have that.  Also, I really like his face.

Joseph-Gordon-Levitt

Act 4 -Album Review: Local Natives, Hummingbird

Sigh. I pretty much never feel the need to write about music I don’t really love, but I just can’t stop thinking about the sad, sad phenomenon that is the sophomore slump.  Beddall was the one who introduced me to the Local Natives first album, Gorilla Manor and I was hooked. I listened to it over and over and couldn’t get enough. It had the lines and the punch that made me rewind and replay 10 second parts because I wanted to sing along over and over and squeeze my hands into fists because it was just so GOOD (A cubism dream, the most beauuuutiful squares I’d ever seen!).  So I was really excited to purchase this album the day it came out. But it’s gone.  Nothing offensive about this album, but the punch isn’t there, the floating feeling, the need to take a deep breath when a song was over. I feel sorry for it. It’s in the friendzone.

localnatives

Act 5 – Concert Review: Jeff Mangum (of Neutral Milk Hotel)

The back story is that after the album ‘In the Aeroplane Over the Sea’ came out in 1998, he couldn’t tolerate the relative fame and he stopped performing publicly, with very few exceptions (a benefit for a friend, once for protesters at the Occupy movement in NYC, among a few others).  So when he announced a tour I was psyched (but still waited til the last minute to get my hands on some tickets, which wound up working out perfectly with awesome seats).  I think that the room of people at this show could have all been my soul mates. Just looking around at the faces I just knew that these people appreciate music the way I do – I was among friends and was somewhat distraught we would only be together for a night.

Anyway, the crowd sat in hushed anticipation as he walked out – and looked the part of grizzled hermit with long hair and giant mountain man beard. But his voice soared and everyone sang along and it was warm and fuzzy and when someone asked if we were allowed to stand up and he said okay and everyone walked respectfully as close as possible for the encore of ‘In the Aeroplane Over the Sea’.  And we all sang along again, and we were happy.

And the crowd may have included Sean Hoots (of one of my all time faves, Hoots and Hellmouth) and seeing as how he was about 25 feet away from me I had to accost him and tell him I really liiiiked him and he was really nice and he looked at me with smiley, crinkley eyes and I’ve been listening to them for days with a smile. Geez, with the runon sentences.

My picture sucks, and pictures of him on the internet looked nothing like him so here’s a link to Mike’s: Mountain Man Jeff Mangum

Act 6 – Book Review: A Visit from the Goon Squad

So far I am having a hard time keeping everything straight and have to keep going back to remember who the fuck is who.  It’s one of those books with a million characters and jumps through time without chapter headings that say something like “Bennie, 1974”. That would probably help me. It has great reviews but so far I’m not too wowed. I’ll let ya know if anything changes. Or I’ll forget, you never know with me.

SO – here’s the question I pose to you – My “What I’ve been Reading” section has been really sucking, so I toyed with the idea of dismissing my reservations and reading 50 Shades of Gray just so I can review it here. But I don’t know if I should do that because I have avoided it like the plague and don’t really want to. eh?

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One Response to “Review Roundup: A Bunch of Unrelated Stuff”

  1. Rose February 14, 2013 at 5:04 pm #

    Don’t bother with 50 shades of gray. haha i don’t read…i am actually on my 3rd book since my 30th bday so i am trying but it took me about 5 months to get just over half way through it because I was falling asleep and then i just gave up entirely. Overrated is an understatement. The people who talk about it being amazing, if you’ve never read it, come off as advanced sex maniacs. If you read it, you think they are missing something in their lives, not you. Too harsh? Maybe but i hated it that much.

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