Finally we get some quality scenes with Shosh and Ray. Rayshanna? I wasn’t sure how many more Hannah-centric episodes of this show I could take and so I was happy to see the love and scenes being spread around to the rest on the cast – particularly to Shosh and Ray. Jessa and Thomas John also had a great scene together as did Marnie and Charlie. And Hannah wasn’t the most intolerable character for once (though I’m not sure I’ll ever forgive her for kicking out Elijah and being such a dick about it). This was hands down my favorite episode of this season so far and I had to rewind my favorite parts to watch them again. So let’s see what’s going on with our Girls.
First of all – GOODBYE ELIJAH (sniffle, tear). I am so sad to write that but after Hannah’s bitchy behavior (can you believe she called George and is keeping all the furniture?!?) I have a hard time imagining Elijah ever forgiving Hannah. Their ending fight was still pretty funny and full of great one liners “You can’t re-purpose me like I’m a vintage cardigan!”but I’m very sad to see Elijah go and to see Hannah be such a ho about it.
Jazzhate must have liked her article about doing blow, wearing mesh t-shirts, and then screwing the creepy neighbor because Hannah is now a published author. And to celebrate this occasion – she is cooking pad thai (all organic) and having a dinner party. This is the world’s weirdest and worst dinner party because Hannah is either an oblivious idiot and thinks it’s totally fine to invite both Marnie and Charlie and Audrey or she wanted awkward conversations to ensue.
I am completely confused as to why she would invite Charlie and Audrey at all, even if she didn’t think Marnie would show. Audrey is awful. With her mustard and her blog and her headbands (god bless Marnie for getting in that “Where do you get your headbands?” dig). And do people really stay friends with a best friend’s ex-boyfriend after they break up? I mean like the type of friends who invite each other to an intimate dinner party? I would never.
Hannah’s joy at cooking and attempts at being domestic and then her attempts to keep the conversation going after it’s clearly awkward for everyone were endearing and a nice showing of the fact that Hannah has indeed grown up at least a little but she isn’t the grown up she thinks she is quite yet. It was pretty awful that she would say “Let’s let Charlie pick who stays” after Audrey and Marnie get into a bitchfight at dinner. And she is still pretty hurtful and hateful to Marnie – explaining she can’t believe she came and then not defending her and calling her out on being less sexually adventurous in front of the group (in regards to the butt plug convo).
In the end Hannah turns out to not be the worst person in the world this week when she defends Marnie when Charlie calls her a cunt. Thank god Hannah! I was beginning to think you actually hated Marnie. And even though Marnie wasn’t there to hear her say it, I am glad she did. It sort of illustrates the idea that Marnie is like family to Hannah. Hannah can be as irrationally mean and mad at Marnie as she wants but if anyone else crosses the line — bitches are gonna get cut because no one messes with your best friend. This is oddly true to life because some of the most awful things I have said are to the people I love the most, but if anyone else ever said those things I would not think twice to verbally bitch slap them.
The episode also ends on a nice note for Hannah (points on singing Wonderwall) when she comforts Jessa by just holding her hand and letting her be sad instead of bombarding her with questions. Sometimes you just want to cry and don’t want to talk about stuff. Hannah got that. However, it is SUPER weird that two friends would get into the bath together for this to happen. I love my best friends and have seen all of them naked and we’re totally not prudy people but does anyone else think it’s totally fucking weird to get into a small bathtub with a friend? And gross to the admission of peeing in the tub. That is nasty. Probably nastier than snot rockets. Anyway, congrats Hannah – you aren’t the wound of the week!
Marnie – Marnie shows up to Hannah’s dinner party and is treated like crap right away as Audrey is immediately an asshole and Hannah doesn’t stick up for her. It took serious ladyballs for Marnie to show up but I liked that she did because Hannah getting published is a big deal and she is trying to be a better friend (she even brings wine!). Marnie is clearly uncomfortable with the whole situation and volunteers to leave but Hannah insists everyone stay.
Marnie gets in two really amazing digs at Audrey while they are waiting for Ray and Shosh to show up. After Charlie explains Audrey’s venture into making mustards and Hannah shows amazement at it and wonders what she is doing with her life, Marnie responds that her own life is “Nothing that great. Nothing with condiments”. She then asks Audrey about her awful headbands. Points to Marnie. Especially because Audrey was a bitch first — asking about the hostessing job and in general being terrible.
Eventually Audrey pushes Marnie too far with her repeated use of the word butthole and the uncomfortable confrontation about Marnie staying over at Charlie’s after she had bad sex with a gay guy. Why would Charlie ever tell Audrey this? Unbelievable. The fight escalates between Audrey and Marnie and she runs off after Hannah won’t stand up for her and is going to let Charlie choose who stays.
Hannah: Charlie can pick who leaves.
Marnie: Are you fucking serious? Grow up!
Hannah: Excuse me: I am grown up. That’s why I cooked all this food!
Oh Hannah – that was awful.Marnie retreats to the roof and of course Charlie (who might actually be the most awful person this episode) tries to comfort her instead of staying with his girlfriend. When Charlie arrives, Marnie launches into a monologue about what a mess she is. I think I have had this exact conversation with my mom and my sister and my best friends before. Sometimes in my mid 20s and even now I just wanted someone to tell me what I am supposed to be and what I should do. What job I should look into. I wanted decisions made for me. I didn’t want to keep making awful mistakes and feel like I wasn’t any closer to figuring it out. It’s a hard place to be and Charlie is kind to her after this heartfelt confession of confusion.
Marnie is grateful for his kindness but thought he was just being a friend – until he goes in for an unsolicited kiss. Marnie pushes him away and tells him she is seeing Booth Jonathan and Charlie flips out and calls him a short ewok before pointing to his crotch (I bet he has a small dick) and telling Marnie she is never getting any of that again. Real mature Charlie. Nice.
He then finds out that Audrey has left (duh!) and he has fucked it up big time. He proceeds to call Marnie the c word and gets smacked down by Hannah for being a total jerk. THANK GOD! Hannah and Marnie — please be friends again. You need each other.
SHOSH – It was recently pointed out to me that Shosh isn’t in my season long poll called “The Wound of the Week” that appears at the bottom of these write-ups. This is because Shosh could never EVER be the wound. Everything about her is wonderful. She is the best. When she shows up late to the party and offers an extremely detailed explanation about said lateness – it’s amazing. Even more amazing is that Ray cuts her off and is like “Stop. We were having sex. It’s okay to talk about it.” Yay! Shosh and Ray are grabbing some afternoon delight. Good for them!
Only Shosh could look around Hannah’s newly re-decorated apartment and cheerfully exclaim “I think you’re going to have some of the best years of your life here”. And she means it. Then the butt plug conversation about Hannah and Elijah. Shosh doesn’t know what butt plugs are! I have a hard time believing this because if you put the words together they definitely paint a picture. But her look of horror/wonder when she looks at Ray and says “Do you want that?” is amazeballs.
And then the best part. After Hannah asks Ray about his old apartment and he dodges the question and starts talking about staying with friends, Shosh pieces together that he is staying with no one but her. She realizes this at dinner and a look of horror and indignation crosses her face when she finally says “Wait…are we living together?” I mean, had she known she would have bought new sheets and called her aunt! After Ray asks if she is okay her response is perfectly Shosh – “I’m not okay, but we can talk about it when we get back to our shared home”. ZING!
Later in the episode, post awful dinner party (with terrible pad thai that no one but Hannah really ate) – Ray asks Shosh what she sees in a loser like him. He is a loser who lives out of his car and he is 33 years old and he knew soon enough his gorgeous and amazing 21 year old girlfriend would be on to it. So he asks why she’s with him. And Shosh confesses that she is falling in love with him. And it’s heartbreaking and amazing. Shosh is the only character who could get away with this because you believe she’s not cynical about love, she is sincere in everything, including her love of Ray.
And though Ray says it is way too early to say such things, he goes for it anyway and twice tells Shosh he “loves her so fucking much”. The fact that he had to repeat it because the train was going by the first time made it even better and I loved it even more. I hope things work out for these two crazy kids because they are my favorite thing about this season so far. Weirdo love forever.
Jessa – First a general observation about Jessa. She is THE WORST character on this show. She lives her life just collecting experiences so she can tell stories about them later that make her seem cool and more interesting, but she never goes beyond the surface of anything. Thomas John gets it right when they have their relationship ending fight and calls her out by saying that this marriage is just another story you can tell people.
Jessa is obsessed with being too cool. I hate it. She’s such a smug pug all the time and acts like she has everything figured out, but I feel that of all the Girls she is the one who is the least adult. She is always putting on a show of authority and cool and being this independent individual but in actuality she reminds me of a teenager — trying on identities and never caring about anything enough to really commit to it, whether it’s a job or a place or a man.
Anyway, we should discuss her storyline this week since it turns out to be major for her. While I know Thomas John was never going to be around for long, I didn’t suspect things would implode this soon. Jessa shows her petulant teenager side when she meets Thomas John’s parents for dinner. While I can agree that they are annoyingly bourge-y I don’t think Jessa had to push so many buttons.
First the whole “I hate this restaurant, but I don’t care because I’m happy to see you” bit is awful and she keeps it up. I could feel her trying to sabotage everything just for fun and to fuck with these people. Talking about rehab and how she hasn’t been to Spain because she’s “avoiding someone” is so calculated and you can feel how cool Jessa is trying to be. It’s maddening. Thomas John (whom I loathe) actually defends her and I feel bad for him. You know you’re being awful when someone feels bad for that douche rocket.
After they get home they get into one of those fights that you can only have when you’ve been around someone long enough to know their weak points and flaws they are most self-aware of. Jessa attacks how ordinary, boring, and average TJ is and TJ attacks Jessa for being more interested in money than she cares to admit and for just being a fucked up, too cool, collector of stories. The most telling “too cool for school” Jessa line happens in this fight “I will look 50 when I’m 30.” Eww. I hated her in that moment. Just because you’ve fucked up a lot doesn’t mean you’ve lived Jessa. You need therapy.
Both people wound each other with words in a way that there is no going back from and just like that Jessa is single again. The episodes ends with her going to Hannah’s and then creepily getting into the tub and crying and blowing a nasty snot rocket. Doesn’t anyone have boundaries? I am glad Jessa’s marriage is over, but I hope she learns from it and stops trying to be a certain way and buying into her own shit. She needs to figure out who she is and what she really wants. All the Girls do — but Jessa more than the rest.
Winner of the episode – Shoshanna and Ray, Marnie
Wounds of the Week – Jessa, Charlie
Note – The Wound of the Week is here again. Please vote. This poll is keeping a running tab throughout the course of the season and I’ll dedicate a blog to the biggest wound at the end of the season. Yes, I realize there is no Shosh. Get on board with that.