Welcome back to week 2 of my Girls Recap. I have to admit that when I first watched this episode it kind of annoyed me – not enough Shosh, too much Hannah, a Hannah and Marnie bitch fight that both of them are better than (really? Did we have to go back to the looks thing?), and Adam being really creepy instead of just kind of creepy and endearing. So let’s get started.
Hannah – I first must address your fashion choices because seriously – What. The. Hell? While I secretly coveted your leopard print workout leggings – nearly everything else was awful. What was with the orange sleeping bag/jumpsuit? You looked like a glow worm serving time on Rikers. And the coveralls — ugh, don’t get me started. So outside of Hannah’s fashion disasters how was she doing this episode? Well, she was insufferable. First, making Elijah watch Adam’s videos and then when Elijah tells her he is sure he won’t murder her (like a good friend would) she turns it back on herself “Why, you don’t think he loved me enough to murder me?” It’s moments like that that I wish I could reach through the TV screen and bitch slap Hannah.
Hannah’s worst moments came when she finally confronted her new Republican boyfriend about reading her essay. I rather enjoyed the banter/teasing between Elijah and the republican boyfriend (Sandy) and liked that they didn’t turn Sandy into a total cliche and had him rise above Elijah’s argument baiting. I liked that show was talking a little about politics and race issues even if I think they did it pretty poorly. Hannah ends up breaking up with Sandy via an uncomfortable argument about race and politics that makes neither party look good — each accusing each other of festishizing (that is a word right?) the other.
But we know the truth – Hannah picked a fight because her feelings were hurt that Sandy didn’t love her essay “like everyone else”. Sandy tried to give her honest criticism but because Hannah is Hannah – she can’t take it and spirals out of control. I really loathed her during this fight. A lot. It was uncomfortable and awful and you knew that Hannah was going to tell everyone that they broke up because of Sandy’s politics (even if she doesn’t know shit about politics). It just sounds better to say “I’ve got principles. I respect gays and women too much to date a Republican” than to say “He didn’t like my essay and doesn’t think I am the greatest writer ever.” Ugh Hannah.
Hannah also turned into a bitch monster when she returned home to find Marnie in her “slutty Von Trapp” uniform for her new job as hostess at a fancy club. Listen Hannah, Marnie has got to the pay the bills and didn’t have a job. Who cares if she took a pretty person job – she needs it and the money isn’t dirty. You are just pissed that you work at Grumpy’s and aren’t cute enough for a pretty person job. That isn’t what Marnie came over to tell you about – she wasn’t trying to rub it in your face. But here is another hard truth Hannah — you couldn’t be a hostess where Marnie works because you aren’t as cute (sorry, but it’s obvious) and you’re sort of an awkward and dick-ish person. Marnie was being a bitch to you too (This fight was the low point of the episode) but you started it. Howev, points for eating Cool Whip right out of the container. That looked so good.
Marnie – I have a feeling this season is going to be the season of Marnie and I am totally okay with that. The less focus on Hannah, the better. Marnie’s deliciously awful job interview was a stand out scene for me in this episode. You can tell that at first Marnie has no idea that the woman interviewing her is being completely condescending. Allison Williams responses such as “We have a light orchestra” and “She is terrible at life” are comedic cold. The best line is when she finally realizes what a hosebeast the woman is when she asks “Where does one get a suit like that?” and she politely mumbles “Anne Taylor” knowing that this woman thinks she is not good enough. Oh god, it was great. Having gone through one or two awful interviews myself – I can say there is nothing worse than when you feel yourself not measuring up or fearing you’ve said too much or too little. Woof. Rough stuff.
Marnie also wins points this episode for her fantastic and seething cat fight with Elijah. I was just telling a friend that I wish Elijah really was bi so that he and Marnie could occasionally hate fuck. Their chemistry is some of the best on the show and I feel positive I could watch 22 minutes of Andrew Rannells and Allison Williams just fighting, bantering, and angry making out/banging (and maybe singing some karaoke).
Jessa – Ugh, she was pretty insufferable wasn’t she? She definitely dethrones Marnie this week and wins the Smug Pug award. Her whole conversation with Hannah about how great married life is and how Thomas John looks at her paintings immediately (no shit, they are 8 feet tall and in the middle of your apartment Jessa), telling Hannah to read just one newspaper, or telling her that she over-thinks everything…ugh. Even if some of what Jessa said has a kernel of truth to it — being married doesn’t make you suddenly adult and wise. Part of me thinks she is acting this way because she thinks she is supposed to and if she really admitted it to herself – she is terrified. We’ll see how this plays out. The only thing I liked about the Jessa scenes were those cute freaking puppies and Jessa’s names for them (Garbage, Pucker and Hanukkah).
Shosh – Shosh’s pillow talk with Ray is so perfect and so Shosh. Those are the exact things I imagine Shosh would talk about – summer camp, archery, pig baiting. The whole scene was weirdly adorable (just like Shosh and Ray) and I’m happy to see these two in a good place right now. Shosh was a good friend to Marnie as well – telling her to get a pretty person job but also gently adding that she isn’t pretty enough to be a model. HA. Love you Shosh. And she would immediately call her friend who has the hostess job — like, right then, and proceed to set something up for Marnie. What a doll. I hope the next episodes is light on the Hannah and heavy on the Shosh because there wasn’t nearly enough of her here.
Elijah – Totally got what was coming to him with his boyfriend George and their break up. That fight was at turns sad, funny, and full of truths Elijah wasn’t prepared to hear. Also it gave us this line “It was only three thrusts”. I am not sure why Elijah would have told George about this unless he really wanted to break it off because it seems he is keeping the secret from Hannah. It’s both sweet and a testament to Hannah’s fragile ego that he is more scared to tell her than to tell his actual boyfriend. Interesting. The fight between Elijah and Marnie is an episode high as was Elijah telling Hannah she looks like a glow worm. Elijah for the win!
Thomas John – You are still horrible and the less I say about you and your creepy fedora and faux enthusiam for seeing Hannah – the better. You are gross. Go to a meeting and never come back.
Adam – The creepy video break-up album he sent to Hannah was believable but everything else that Adam did this episode was wildly out of character. Girls did great work last season with the character of Adam – making him in an oddly sympathetic but still slightly repulsive nice guy. He was complicated and you never knew exactly how to feel about him – but in the end you felt like he wasn’t the bad guy in his situation with Hannah, he was the one who was hurt and used. So to have him show up at Hannah’s like a stalker and then break into her house? Totally out of character. I thought at first that perhaps he was drinking again, but there was no indication of that. It was weird and scary and murder-y and I hated it. However, kudos and points to the writing staff because Adam would totally have a warrant out for public urination and unpaid parking tickets. My advice to Adam – let go of Hannah – she’s not worth the fines and the crazy my friend. Also – she called 911 on you. What a drama queen.
Episode Winner(s) – Shosh and Ray, Elijah, Jessa’s puppies
Further Proof of Shosh and Ray’s victory can be found here –
Episode Losers – Hannah (don’t ever use Missy Elliot lyrics again Dunham), Thomas John & Jessa and their awful tiger tattoos.
And now for my first ever Readers Poll — Who was “the wound” in this week’s episode?